Q: How Do You Make A Party Last Forever

A:  Ask your guests to write on your tablecloth.

Answering Your Questions: Introducing Solids

Q. When do you introduce solid food to your children and what foods do you introduce first?


A. Several new parents have asked me recently how and when we introduce solid foods to our babies.

(Note: With all our children we have loosely followed Shonda Parker's food introduction guidelines in Mommy Diagnostics.)


Our family's guidelines, outlined below, are for breastfed babies. If your baby is formula feeding you may need to supplement with solid foods sooner than for breastfed babies. Breastfed children are having nature's perfect food, so you need not worry so much when the solid foods come in.

The first thing to keep in mind is readiness to try solid foods. This does not have very much to do with age. One of my children was eating solids at about 6 months. Several have not been very interested until after one year old. Look for a few different things that together may indicate readiness. 1) the appearance of teeth, 2) weight of 17 pounds, 3) can sit up on his own with good head control, 4) is reaching for things to put in mouth, 5) can push food away as well as swallow back instead of just pushing the food out and/or gagging. I think these indicators usually put a baby around 9 months old. I feel like most new parents introduce foods too early rather than too late. It's understandable because it is a fun milestone for parents and children.


We try to approach introducing food without stressing about it. Breastfeeding helps. If the child doesn't take eagerly to food, that's OK. I don't try to be neat, but to just let the child enjoy food. I sometimes just plop some food on the high chair tray and let the child just finger it, smear it around, get it all over his or her face. This is exploration and play.


Also, I have never (to my recollection) ever purchased baby food. I don't buy processed, convenience foods for the rest of the family, so why would I feed it to the baby whose nutritional needs are completely in my hands?

It's simple as can be to make baby food. You can use a blender, food processor, baby food grinder, or even just a fork for some foods. I also have a baby food grinder that I just keep in my diaper bag. If we go out to eat or eat at someone else's house my vegetables can be easily prepared for the baby. Some foods can be given raw (such as bananas). Others you can bake or lightly steam. Process them until smooth enough not to cause gagging or choking. To make food easily accepted by the baby, you can add expressed breast milk.


The first foods we introduce are root vegetables: sweet potatoes, beets, carrots, turnips, jicama and others.

Then we introduce bananas and avocados.

Then we introduce other vegetables and fruits, depending on what is in season.

Grains come in after vegetables. We'll use oatmeal, millet, brown rice, wheat germ and other whole grains. I do not buy those just-add-water baby grains. Have you ever tried that stuff? Tastes like paste! And does not actually offer any nutrition to speak of.

Most of our children have never had a bottle and those that did only did a few times. When it comes time for baby to drink we go straight to a cup or sippy cup. And they drink water. When nursing sessions decrease in frequency we offer them rice, soy, or nut milk.

We do not make the children eat meat, eggs or drink cow's milk until sometime after one year old and would not be concerned if the children didn't eat these until two years old. When we do offer dairy (after vegetables and fruits) we do cultured dairy (such as yogurt and kefir).


Parents have a variety of concerns when it comes to introducing solid food to their children. Here are some common questions and my views:

• What about protein?

Yes, children do need protein. But how much? They don't need to sit down and eat a steak. The equivalent of two bites of chicken is about sufficient for a whole day. But, it doesn't have to be meat! Nut butters, beans, and even some grains (such as millet) have more than enough protein.

• What about iron?

Nuts, seeds, beans, tofu, eggs, and other non-meat sources offer more than enough iron for little children.

• What about calcium?

I have breastfed all my babies past a year, so adequate calcium intake has not been a problem. By the time they are completely weaned (for a few of my children that has been almost three years old) they are eating enough solids and drinking milk to meet their calcium needs.

How do I know my child is eating enough?


For a child raised on healthy, natural, unprocessed foods with no additives or artificial ingredients and who lives an active life of play and activity, over-eating should not be a concern. You can feed your child as much as he or she wants to eat. Likewise if your child doesn't seem to be eating much at all, don't worry. Just keep offering it. He or she will eventually catch on and eat what you offer. Resist the urge to try to make the food "enticing" with fancy packaging, adding color, sugar, syrup, etc. Your child will like the taste of natural foods if that is what you consistently serve.

(All pictures of Saraa's first experience with solid food. Mashed steamed sweet potatoes.)

Ask me anything day.

So, I missed MHR and FF5 yesterday. I had planned to catch up today. But now it's 1:30 Saturday afternoon and I'm feeling particularly demotivated. (No, not unmotivated. I think I was demotivated by a series of events today. I was motivated this morning. I'm just sitting around eating cheese and crackers and ignoring everything now. Anyway.....)

Let's play a little game. Ask me anything. ANYTHING. And I will answer.....unless I don't want to. Great game rules, aren't they? It's my game. My rules.

Ask away. It can be silly, serious, bizarre, or even trivia (I'll just look up the answers for you on Wikipedia or make them up anyway).

On your mark, get set, ask!

?

Answering Your Questions: Natural Childbirth

Q. Can you share any ideas or techniques you use to make it through childbirth without medication?

A. Sure can! I have had six children naturally with varying levels of pain or discomfort. Each birth has taught me something about life and about myself.

With Meg, my first born, I was in labor for nearly 28 hours. I would say it was hard work, but not painful--until the last two hours where labor completely took over my body and mind. Meg's birth taught me that I am stronger than I think I am.

With Israel, my second born, I was in quite a lot of pain. His labor was very intense and lasted 7 hours. This was by far the most intense, I believe, because it is the one birth I did not really prepare for. I figured that I had birthed Meg just 12 months before and that I knew how. Israel's birth taught me to be prepared and to not assume that I already know all the answers.

With Luc, my third born, I prepared like it was my first. His labor lasted about 11 hours. It was my first painless birth. Luc's birth taught me to let go of control and to enjoy the process.

With Caesar, my fourth born, I was prepared for something unusual. I could just sense it. His labor was painless. It lasted 2 1/2 hours--most of the time spent in the bathtub eating fruit and cheese and sipping tea. I was worshipping the whole time. When I got out of the tub he arrived so quickly that Gana had to catch him. He weighed 9 pounds. Caesar's birth taught me that the only thing you can expect is that it won't be what you expected.

With Ihbeleg, my fifth born, I was in labor for 42 hours. He was posterior, with a nuchal hand, and cord entanglement. Because he was posterior at times it was extremely painful. I relied on my husband, my mother, my midwife, my sisters, my daughter, and my chiropractor to get me through. Towards the end the contractions felt more like power surges than labor contractions. His birth taught me to rely on others and confirmed those I need would be there for me.

With Saraa, my sixth born, I was a little bit fearful as we approached the due date. She was breech up until the day of birth. I was exhausted and a little depressed. But, as I brought all my cares to HIM I knew He was speaking peace and joy. Her labor was about 7 hours. It was joyful all the way through. Her birth taught me not to fear.

As you can see through this quick birth-story summary, I have had a variety of experiences and I wouldn't trade them nor their lessons for anything.

So, how did I get through 97.5 hours of labor?

First all, there is no substitute for being prepared. Practice, practice, practice. Labor, like any worthy endeavor, takes preparation and practice! And it takes about three months to really teach yourself how to relax on command. So, I recommend beginning daily relaxation practice from at least the fifth month. (If you are reading this and are past five months, don't despair! Every bit of practice helps! Nothing is wasted!)

Bradley Method classes are WONDERFUL in helping you to prepare. We took classes with Meg at the recommendation of our midwife. We fell in love with our instructor and the method. We took a refresher of the course when pregnant with Israel and three weeks before his due date I took the training and became a certified Bradley Method educator. These classes are worth every penny! (If you live in So. Cal. and need an childbirth class I'm available!) To find a Bradley Method Educator in your area, click here.

In addition to the course, I cannot recommend having a doula enough! I've always had home births and my mother with me (who is a natural childbirth guru herself!) and sisters and a midwife. So, I've never hired a doula. However, if I were having a hospital birth I would hire a doula in a heartbeat! A doula who understands natural childbirth and who has given birth naturally herself (preferably one who is also a childbirth educator) can be an invaluable asset to your birth team. She knows about birth positions, massage, comfort measures, supporting the mother-father-baby triad, communicating with your birth team, etc. If you want a natural childbirth in a hospital GET A DOULA!

About relaxation: There are three types of relaxation, e.g. physical, mental, and emotional. To have an optimally comfortable experience all three should be in operation.

1. Physical relaxation. There are many things that can help with physical relaxation and comfort. Here are some of my personal favorites:

~Water. Warm baths and showers are wonderful. If you have a handy husband get him to replace your shower head with one that can be hand held. Then you can target exactly where you need the water--like your lower belly, low back or even your perineum. For more about laboring in water (even if you don't want to actually birth in water) click here.

~Warmth. Hot water bottles are nice, but can get too hot and that rubber against the skin isn't too comfortable. I like to fill a tube sock with rice and tie it off. Then pop it in the microwave until it's as toasty as you like. It's perfect for conforming to your belly, back, feet, neck, wherever.

~Massage oils. Here's a recipe for one we used liberally in Saraa's birth. It's supposed to reduce pain, help you to keep a clear head, and shorten labor. I got this combo from my midwife. I mixed it in a massage base of jojoba oil. I made mine without the fennel because my health food store was out. This smells nice, I think.

4 drops Helichrysum

4 drops Fennel

2 drops Peppermint

5 drops Ylang ylang

3 drops Clary sage

1 ounce V6 or Massage oil base

Apply liberally to your hips, back and ankles during labor. Should not be used before the onset of labor.

~Freedom to eat and drink during labor. Hunger and thirst definitely increase unpleasant sensations in labor. So eat and drink during labor to keep up your energy and keep you clear-minded! I like to suck on frozen fruit, sip tea, and eat yogurt. But, I have been known to eat a little heartier during the long labors--eggs and veggies, chicken and rice, etc. Don't be afraid to eat during labor. And stay hydrated!!

~Learn relaxation techniques such as they teach in the Bradley Method classes. Ones I find helpful for physical relaxation are "Tense and Relax", "Progressive Relaxation", and "Stroking."

~Be aware of helpful positions for labor. A prenatal yoga video can be really helpful in learning positions that relax the pelvis muscles and keep the body flexible. Don't stay confined to any one position or spend labor on your back in a bed.

2. Mental Relaxation. Think of getting your five senses involved.

What do you see? Is the environment relaxing or stressful? If you are at home, clear the clutter and surround yourself with your favorite things. Use beautiful natural candlelight. If you are at the hospital think about bringing things along that speak peace to you. Like a favorite picture, birth art, favorite blanket, etc. I had a client once who had a framed picture of Mother Teresa with her. It had been her grandmother's picture and whenever she saw it she felt empowered.

What do you hear? A machine that goes "Ping"?! Think about music, nature sounds, books on CD, poetry, etc.

What do you feel? Bring a favorite blanket, stuffed animal, your own pillows, your own clothes, etc. Who says you have to use the hospital's gowns and stuff. Bring your own if they make you more comfy.

What do you taste? Bring along all your own snacks if you are going to the hospital.




What do you smell? The massage oil above is nice. There are also essential oils you can use in a diffuser that encourage relaxation. (But, please smell it during labor before you infuse it all over the room. What you like when not in labor may not be what you like during labor. So, double check!)




3. Emotional Relaxation. This is accomplished by a combination of Physical and Mental Relaxation. Also, having the loving and continuous support of those you love. This is where your husband is really key. No one can get you emotionally relaxed like the one you love the most. Sometimes having your children, your mother, or your best friend with you can also be emotionally relaxing.




Visualization techniques can be helpful. The Bradley Method classes teach some relaxation techniques that employ visualization. These are wonderful once you are in the rhythm of labor.




I have found that prayer and worship and reading Psalms are really helpful in emotional relaxation. I sing. I cry. I lift up my voice to God. I read the Psalms or have someone read them to me. There is nothing like the loving arms of the Lord!




For two of my births Gana prepared a CD ahead of time for me, with favorite worship songs. I used the CD throughout pregnancy for my relaxation. I used the CD for birth. The remarkable thing about this is that the baby remembers those songs. This is what convinced me that we have prebirth memories. During pregnancy with Captain I listened to one song in particular over and over again. I listened to it during birth. After he was a few weeks old he was very fussy one night. I could not calm him with the breast, swaddling, walking, nothing! In desperation I turned on the CD player. He heard the first strains of that song, settled down in my arms and went to sleep.




How to practice:



Everyday prior to birth, beginning at least by the 5th month, set aside two times a day to relax and practice. One session should be alone and the other with your husband. Lay on your side, close your eyes and relax. Go through various relaxation and visualization techniques (such as those taught by Dr. Bradley). Play your music. Have your husband massage you. Light your candles. Whatever works for you. Breathe deeply from your abdomen--lift the baby up with every inhalation and set the baby gently down with every exhalation. Pray for the baby and the birth process. This isn't a time for fierce intercession, but for quiet meditation.




Keep in mind that what you are doing, you are doing for your baby. No matter what labor and birth sends your way, remember that you can do it!




When the intense contractions hit me and my body tenses up, I tell myself to relax completely and to accept the entire contraction with all of its sensations.


Don't fight it or wish it away. Experience all of it--no matter how overwhelming.

It's only going to last for one minute and then nature will give me a break.

I can do anything for one minute.

I breathe deeply.

I whisper a prayer.

I groan.

I let the wave of the contraction wash over me without fighting it.

This is the ideal time to fine tune your listening skills--listen to your body. Listen to the Lord.

Learn the lessons that this labor is teaching you.

Answering Your Questions--Why Natural Chilbirth, Part III

In part one we dealt with medical reasons for natural childbirth. In part two we dealt with religious reasons for natural childbirth. Here in part three we will look at cultural reasons for natural childbirth.





And as always when tackling a subject such as this feathers get ruffled. The last post left one reader "fuming." Therefore, here is the disclaimer: The following are our opinions and our experiences. These should offend no one, but may be instructive or enlightening or at the very least entertaining.





1. Medicated childbirth was promoted as a triumph of feminism, but is actually anti-woman.





In the early 1900's German doctors began to experiment with using a combination of morphine and scopolamine for the treatment of childbirth pain. They called it Dämmerschlaf. By 1915 it was in worldwide use and was called by its English translation, Twilight Sleep. The emergence of these drugs was in response to early feminist demanding them, this according to Dr. Donald Caton in his book What A Blessing She Had Chloroform (Yale University Press, 1999). (A feminist review of the book can be read here.)




In August 1915 the Canadian Medical Association wrote, "The primal curse, 'I will greatly multiply the sorrow of your conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children,' was to be finally abrogated. The bearing of a child was henceforth to be merely a time of twilight and of sleep." The New York Times heralded it "a new era for woman and through her for the whole human race."



The feminist call to arms in the push for childbirth drugs is recorded: "The insistence of the American women that they shall have the benefits of the new method is bringing results. Keep on ladies! Hammer away with all your might. Emancipation day has come."



Feminists from all over the world championed the idea of a woman's right to give birth without pain. French feminist Nelly Roussel (1878–1922) lumped the idea of childbirth with pain medication with the right to birth control and being free from the constraints of caring for one's own children. She bore two children (the second one using experimental childbirth drugs) but left them in the care of her mother and sister. (I guess it's OK to be that kind of feminist as long as women somewhere are not.)





Because feminists rejected the idea that sin entered the world through Eve and the curse of "your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you" the process of childbirth with its accompanying pains was pointless. Through childbirth drugs a woman was able to be free of patriarchal control.





Unfortunately, this robbed a woman of the process by which she became a mother (which was OK, because a woman "being saved through childbirth" was passe). In 1915 in the New York Times a Nebraskan woman is quote as saying, "The next thing I knew I was awake ... and then I thought to myself 'I wonder how long before I shall begin to have the baby,' and while I was still wondering a nurse came in with a pillow, and on the pillow was a baby, and they said I had had it—perhaps I had—but I certainly can never prove it in a courtroom."

Along with this "emancipation" came the startling side effects of a raving woman out of her senses! A woman under the effects of Twilight Sleep would thrash and scream, try to bite or scratch the doctors and nurses, bang her head against the wall and was in general a danger to herself! To solve this doctors tied women to the bed, wrapped her head with protective cushioning, stuffed cotton in her ears, etc. Her husband was not allowed to be present for fear he'd protest this treatment of his wife.

Therefore this gift to women of painless childbirth came at the price of her autonomy and removed her from the protection and advocacy of her husband. This was not the triumph of feminism that doctors claimed it was. It was tyranny.

But, you say, childbirth drugs today are not like that. But remember that we are talking about the roots of the movement. Are the fruits of today's practices at all connected with its historical roots? I have been with many women in labor who have been offered drugs without being informed of the risks to themselves or their babies. Is that not an attack on her intelligence? I've been with women whose husbands have been asked to leave the room so a procedure could be performed on his wife. Is that not an attack on their family structure? I've been with women when nurse, midwives or doctors have said and done things to deliberately undermine her confidence in herself and her body. Is that not an attack her very womanhood?

I am not saying that everyone who has ever had a drug in childbirth is anti-woman, nor that every doctor/nurse who has offered an epidural was in a conspiracy against women. I am saying that the system as a whole is flawed and not necessarily on a woman's side. It is a generalization, I realize. A woman's innate ability to birth is not respected in the system at large. A nurse will say something like, "Oh, honey, you don't have to be a hero. Just take the drugs." or "You'll never make it if you are this tired now. It's going to get much worse. You should take the drugs while you can!" or "That looks terribly painful. Are you sure you don't want out of this?" Sometimes attendants will go as far as to give drugs without a woman's knowledge or permission.

It makes sense, though. A woman on narcotics is much easier to control, is more compliant and less likely to question authority. You decide: Feminist or anti-woman?

2. Childbirth is not a disease and yet is treated like one in our culture, robbing women of maternal instincts.



Childbirth is not an illness that requires "treatment." Childbirth is a natural physiologic function. Yet it is treated like a disease. Why is a woman in labor called a "patient"? She is not sick? Why is she made to stay in the bed? Why are tubes and needles and drugs an expected part of labor?



In the first week of a series of childbirth classes I ask the class, "True or false, childbirth is a natural function and so a woman can rely on her instincts to get her through. She doesn't need to take classes." Trick question. Students usually pause not knowing which it is.



Here's my take: As with all other mammals, humans used to have birth instincts and in some places of the world (or even in some micro-cultures such as mine) they still do. A girl will grow up seeing her mother give birth, her older sister give birth, her auntie give birth. Women come together to support one another in this social (rather than medical) event. When that little girl is a woman and ready to bring her first child into the world she is ready. She is familiar with the sights, sounds, smells, and sensations of birth. She is not afraid. She does not ask for escape.



However, in our culture, birth (and death) happen in a sterile environment, separate from the rest of life. Therefore by the time a woman reaches the season of life to bear children, she has never seen a birth. She is completely detached from the ebb and flow of life. She doesn't know how to deal with the sensations through the dance, the moans, the music of birth.



Medicated birth is a very cultural thing that sociologist years from now may look back on and wonder what 20th century women were so afraid of.





3. "Peace on earth begins with birth."



As outlined in Part I, traumatic birth has been linked with adult drug addiction and suicide. A common midwifery slogan is "Peace on earth begins with birth." In other words how can we expect violence against women and children to cease when it is allowed (and even promoted) in the passage of life? Imagine the comfort and care of the womb. The mother watches what she eats, avoids secondhand smoke and alcohol. She exercises and gets fresh air. She thinks loving thoughts about her baby. But, in the most crucial moments--the first moments of life outside the womb, the baby is subjected to narcotics and birth interventions that treat the new life like a thing and not like an unique person.

In the fascinating documentary, What Babies Want, the question is explored "Do we have prebirth and birth memories?" And how do our birth experiences effect life and society.

4. My family's culture is one of natural birth.

My own micro-culture is one that assumes natural childbirth. I think everyone in my family and maybe everyone I knew at the time would have been shocked had I decided for a medical birth.

When my maternal grandmother was in labor with my mother the doctor offered her ether. She refused. While trying to push my mother out, the nurse put the ether mask over my grandmother's face. Feisty thing that she is, my grandmother took it off and threw it at the nurse. 'Nough said.

When my mother was preparing for my older brother's birth, she attended a talk given by a naturopath and homebirth attendant. She decided to do it all natural at home. And again with me not two years later. And with my sister 14 months after that. My mother talked about labor in terms of the work involved. She talked about it very naturally and without fear.

My paternal grandmother gave birth in minutes, not hours--though she is petite as can be.

Therefore, I never had in mind to use drugs to get through labor. I naturally assumed that if my grandmothers and my mother could do it, so could I. To me, labor didn't equal pain. Labor was a life transition. Birth isn't something that happens to a woman, it is something that is given by the woman, hence the phrase "giving birth." Babies are not delivered by attendants, they are caught by loving hands.

This was my first cultural understanding of birth. I carried it with me through my childhood and into my womanhood. I am hopefully passing it on to my children as well.

[Story correction: My grandmother was in labor with my mother's younger brother when she was offered ether. And my mother took her seminar in home birth a few years before she actually got pregnant with my brother. Thanks for the correction, Mom!]

Answering Your Questions: Why Natural Childbirth, Part II

(In case you missed it, Part 1 is here.)

In this post I want to focus on some theological reasons we choose natural childbirth.

Disclaimer: If you are a Christian and have chosen an epidural for your births, please do not be offended or take any of the following as a challenge to your salvation. It's simply the way *we* see things.

Belgee fresh from the womb.

Part 2.1: First, let us decide what things were part of the blessing and what things were part of the curse.

Genesis 1:28, And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.




Genesis 2:15, And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

We can see from these verses that birth and work were part of the blessing, not part of the curse. Birth and work were around before The Fall. They are part of what God called "good."

After The Fall God said to the woman, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you." The word there for "pain" means pain, labour, hardship, sorrow, toil.

To the man God said, "Cursed is the ground for your sake; In toil you shall eat of it All the days of your life." The word here translated "toil" is the exact same word translated "pain" for the woman!

What gives?! When a man goes to work everyday we don't equate it with pain. When a woman labors we don't just equate it with pain, we equate it with something akin to torture. WHY?! I do not think this was what God had in mind! We already know that work and birth were part of the original blessing.

What if a man had to get doped up on narcotics in order to go to work each day? We'd think something was seriously amiss. Why when a woman is fulfilling her part of the blessing/curse (we'll address which it is next) she has to get doped up on narcotics? Remember that the man's toil and the woman's toil are the same word in the original text. God is just, remember!

Part 2.2 We do not still live under the curse.

You know that popular Christmas hymn Joy to the World? Ever sing the verse three? It says:

No more let sins and sorrows grow,

Nor thorns infest the ground;

He comes to make His blessings flow

Far as the curse is found,

Far as the curse is found,

Far as, far as, the curse is found.

(This hymn, by the way, is based on Psalm 98 that says all the earth (literally LAND) shall praise the Lord for His salvation!)

With Christ's accomplished mission on earth He reversed the curse! It was prophesied to be so at the same time as the curse was given. The woman's seed would crush the serpent's head! That's Jesus! And that is what was accomplished on Calvary!

Think about what was given to us in Christ?

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (I Corinthians 15:56-57)

Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree." Galatians 3:13

The curse of sin and the law and all their reprocussions no longer have dominion over us!

My new life in Christ includes that the curse of pain in childbearing has been removed from the blessing of being fruitful and multiplying! (It has been lifted for the man, too! But that is a topic for another post.)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new (I Corinthians 5:17)

I'm going to go ahead and believe God that all things means ALL THINGS! That includes my body and the birth process.

Because of the blessing that comes through Christ, I can partake of all the blessings promised to Abraham's descendants.

"He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit." Galatians 3:14

Hebrew women in the Bible were blessed in childbirth, too! "Hebrew women are not like Egyptian women; they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive." (Exodus 1:19)

I claim that promise for myself!

Part 2.3 Trust in the Lord

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." Proverbs 3:5

Our life is all about trusting the Lord. God has us on a continual walk of faith and asks us to rest in Him and to let Him be our strength. Believe me when I say that it is not always easy! We've gone to the mission field without pledged financial support. God abundantly provided. We've surrendered my womb to Him. He's blessed us with children at the right times. We applied for Gana to attend a prestigious (and expensive) seminary even though he doesn't have a bachelor's degree and even though we don't qualify for financial aid. God looks after all our needs according to His riches in glory! When we get sick or hurt we pray for one another first before we used medication or see the doctor. God has healed our family of many things supernaturally--a suspicious breast lump, a broken finger, food allergies, liver problems, and more!

"This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it." Isaiah 30:15

Think of what we would have missed out on if we had not relied on the Lord for finances, babies, healing, education, etc. It would seem a severe disconnect if we were able to trust Him for all this and more, but when it comes to labor I said, "Give me the drugs!" Is He not just as able to deliver me from the pain of childbirth and to make the event joyful as He is to provide finances for me to stay home with my kids?

Lest you think my theology has no place in real life, remember that I've given birth to six children naturally. I've had ample opportunity to put my faith to the test. And I have found the Lord to be more than faithful. I have found that His Word is true! Each birth has been as unique as each child. But, each birth has taught me more about the Lord. I've learned to rely on Him. I've learned to trust Him. I've learned that He really does have all I need--not just in a religious sense of some sort of spiritual need. No, I've found that He really does have all I need for my physical life, too.

2 Peter 1:3 says that His divine power has given us everything we need for LIFE and GODLINESS.

(More posts on Why Natural Childbirth to come! Stay tuned!)

Answering Your Questions: Why Natural Childbirth, Part I

A reader asked me to expound on the reasons we choose natural childbirth. That's a very good question that I have a feeling will take more than one post to answer. There are medical reasons, religious reasons, cultural reasons, and personal reasons. In this day and age some people think it's pretty ridiculous to have natural childbirth. With all our "progress" and the drugs that are available why would a woman suffer if she doesn't have to?

Well, let's dig in! Warning: I have strong feelings about this, but in this post, which is about medical reason, I'm going to attempt to leave my feelings out of it and just give you the facts.

"Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts."

A recent estimate has medicated births at 98% in this country. How many of these women have been informed that all childbirth drugs are narcotic? That's right. All childbirth drugs are narcotics or narcotic analogues, which mean they behave exactly like narcotics. Think about it....Marcaine, bupivacaine, Lidocaine, COCAINE. They are in the same class of drugs.


Just Say No


Why in our society are we in this "war on drugs" yet we dole drugs out left and right as long as you have a prescription from a doctor?


Saying "No" to drugs begins at the beginning of life, not when our kids are teenagers. And speaking of teenagers, women who take drugs during labor and birth increase the risk that their offspring will abuse drugs and alcohol. (Epidemiology 2000; 11:715-176 and British Journal of Addiction 1992; 87, 1669-1676.) In these studies the association was the strongest when drugs were given between 4.5 and 1.5 hours before delivery. The risk of adult addiction was 1.7 times higher among those given one dose, compared with those who received no drugs. The risk increased to 4.7 times that of non-exposed children when three doses were given.


We really underestimate the importance of the whole birth process and how it effects one's whole life! Traumatic birth can be linked to drug abuse and suicide. "Administration of opiates or barbiturates to mothers during labor was associated with adult drug addiction. Asphyxia during birth was associated with later suicide involving asphyxiation. Mechanical birth trauma...was associated with violent suicide..." (Acta Psychiatr. Scand. 76:364-71, 1987) Dr. Jacobson, who worked with this study in Sweden, called the results "astounding and alarming." He says that it is likely that the self-destructive behavior may result from the imprinting process at birth.



Is There A Safer Way To Get The Drugs?


Trying to make drug administration "safer" doctors have come up with all sorts of things, e.g. epidural, spinal blocks, caudal blocks. This exposes mother and baby to a continuous stream of medication for hours and hours of labor. Make no mistake about it, all labor and delivery drugs pass from mother to baby.



Just check the PDR (Physicians Desk Reference) under Xylocain or lidocaine, a commonly used epidural agent. It says, "Labor and Delivery: Local anesthetics rapidly cross the placenta and when used for epidural, paracervical, pudendal or caudal block anesthesia, can cause varying degrees of maternal, fetal and neonatal toxicity." (Note the difference between fetal and neonatal. In other words, it effects the baby inside and outside the womb.)


H/T to Midwifery Ramblings for the following stats: (the full study can be found here.)


Risks and Side Effects of Epidural Anesthesia During Labor:

* Limited Mobility - 100%

* Low Blood Pressure - up to 50%

* Fever, mom - up to 24%

* Urinary Retention - up to 68%

* Post Partum Urinary Incontinence - 27% with an epidural, 13% without

* Shivering - 33%

* Nausea - up to 30%

* Vomiting - up to 13%

* Itching - between 8-100% ( varying degrees )

* Backache Immediately After Birth - 53%

* Incomplete Pain Relief - up to 25%

* Slower 1st Stage of Labor - up to 4.8 hours longer

* Longer 2nd Stage ( pushing ) - up to 55 minutes longer

* Instrumental Delivery - up to 80%. 6 out of 9 studies indicate that less than 50% of women with an epidural had a spontaneous vaginal delivery.

* Fever in the baby ( that result in a sepsis work up ) - 30%

* Fetal Distress - 10-15%

* Malpositioned Baby - up to 26%

* Lower Apgar Scores- up to 17%

* Baby Having to Endure Sepsis Work Up ( which includes spinal tap ) - up to 34%

* Baby Being Treated with Antibiotics - up to 15%

* Effects on Breastfeeding - Women who used epidurals were less likely to still be breastfeeding at 6 months. ( 30% vs. 50% )

* Cesarean - 2-3 times as likely with an epidural.

But Are These Drugs Really Dangerous To The Baby?

The American Academy of Pediatrics has firmly stated: "No drug or
chemical--whether prescription, over-the-counter or food additive--can be
regarded as having been proven to be entirely free of potential harm to the
fetus." (Pediatrics Vol. 51 No. 2)

All obstetrical pain killing drugs have been proven to reach the unborn baby, including epidurals. (Anesthesiology 29: 951) The pregnant woman, who can have an increased blood supply of up to 50%, has excellent circulation. A drug given to the mother has the potential of reaching the baby's blood stream without seconds. A study of Demerol showed that even low doses of Demerol may adversely affect neonatal behavior. The study went on to say, "The effect was still apparent at three days of age." This alone would be disconcerting. However, drugs from childbirth have been found in baby's blood stream up to six weeks post-partum. Mothers are often told that their babies are a little bit sleepy from birth. I was with a client post c-section a few years back when the nurse said, "Oh, don't worry. Your baby will sleep a lot, so you can get lots of rest. It's the morphine." A "little sleepy" might not sound that bad, until you realize that that baby may have trouble nursing, bonding, and deep long sleep cycles have been linked to SIDS.

United Press International (January 14, 1979) reported that childbirth drugs lowered the child's IQ at an average of four points per child. Doesn't sound that bad, but that's an average. What if your child is on the high end that created that average? And what does that do to us as a society? At the rate at which we medicate our babies, it's a national loss of 14 million IQ points a year. Talk about the dumbing down of America!

Babies who are medicated have a more difficult time latching on and nursing. Did you know that it is instinctive in babies to know how to find the breast and how to latch on? Unless of course their senses have been desensitised by labor and delivery drugs. There is a fascinating video called Delivery Self Attachment. They place babies on their mother's belly after birth and do nothing. The babies who are immediately put there and have had no medication crawl to the breast on their own, find the breast and latch on! The medicated babies (and babies who have been separated from the mother first) do not do so well. Some eventually do find it. Some never do.

Now, you might say, "I've had epidurals with my other children and I've never had a problem" as a justification for using it again. My answer to that is, "I've never been in a car accident when I was speeding in the rain. But that doesn't mean that it's a safe practice or that there won't be an accident if I try it again."

This isn't all. This is just the starting point. For more about Drugs in Labor please visit International Chiropractic Pediatric Association and The Bradley Method.

And this is only Part 1 from me. These are only SOME of the medical reasons we choose natural childbirth. In an upcoming post we'll delve into some of the personal and religious reasons we choose to do it naturally.

Answering Your Questions: Politics

Questions left in the comments...

Q. I think it's sad when we as Christians only look at some of the issues, like abortion (which I don't support), but don't look at the broader issues like providing health care for everyone and caring for the widow and orphan. I don't see how many of Bush's policies do much for the poor and desolate.

A. No matter what anyone says, there is a deciding-factor-issue for everyone. For some it's the environment, for others it's national security. For me and many it's abortion. And I don't think there is any shame in being a "one issue voter." Everyone is, if they are honest; they just choose different issues. This does not mean that we don't care about other issues. We certainly do! But, as my mother says, "Nothing Trumps Life." Being pro-abortion is the deal-breaker for us.

You can read more of our thoughts on being pro-life here and here.

In addition, we do not feel it is the role of government to be a provider. My husband grew up in a communist country, so trust me when I say we have seen all sides of this! It has never been a good idea to make government the provider of health care or to put the care of the poor in it's bureaucratic hands!

The purpose of government is to be a terror to those who do evil and to protect freedom. Charity is a function of religion. When you put charity in the hands of a secular entity you exchange Father God for Big Brother. (In addition to the verses below, see also: Mark 14:7, 1 Timothy 5:8, 1 Timothy 5:4).

James 1:27, "Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us."

Proverbs 19:17, "He who has pity on the poor lends to the LORD, And He will pay back what he has given."

Deut. 15:11, "For the poor will never cease from the land; therefore I command you, saying, 'You shall open your hand wide to your brother, to your poor and your needy, in your land.'" (Opening of the hand is an act of free-will. The government should not take from a closed hand.)

Proverbs 22:9 "He who has a generous eye will be blessed, For he gives of his bread to the poor."

The purpose of government is to punish evil and reward the good:

Romans 13:1-7, "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil. Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake. For for this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God's ministers, attending continually upon this very thing. Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour."

Peter 2:13-17 “Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well. For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men: As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God. Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.”

And one more thing on this point....in what ways do the policies of the Bush administration ignore the needs of the poor? Bush TRIPLED humanitarian aid to Africa, a fact that is widely ignored. He gave us the prescription drug plan for seniors (which personally, I don't think was a great idea, but nevertheless....). He also just gave us an economic stimulus package which was essentially money to everyone--even the poor--and those who did not even pay taxes!

I just do not see how President Bush ignored the needs of the poor.

Q. Many say that Bush did great things for the unborn, what about the things that he did to many of the 'born' who live in the middle east, innocent people - including women and children, who have been killed - thousand upon thousand, due to his foreign policy? I don't understand this...to me it seems like he is 'pro-life' when in the womb but then you are left behind when you arrive in the world.

A. To quote Randy Alcorn: "I still do believe that with all the other issues that matter, and there are many of them, not one of them (either in viciousness, defenselessness of the victims, or total fatalities) outweighs the holocaust of children, over a million of them each year. And while numerous people keep asking me why I'm not speaking up for children already born, my answer remains the same—no presidential candidate favors the legalized killing of children who are already born."

The innocent were already dying in the Middle East before Bush's foreign policy and they will continue after it. Terrorists use women and children as human shields. This is not due to Bush foreign policy. And where does one get the idea that "thousands and thousands" of children died as a result of America's foreign policy? Even if one were to believe that the deaths of children were a result of our foreign policy (which we do not) to say "thousands" is exaggerated. War is ugly, no doubt about it. It is also sometimes necessary. The Gombojav Tribe, while peace loving folks, are not pacifists. You can read our thoughts about that here and here.

To put this whole pitting-the-born-against-the-unborn argument in perspective:

I'm sure those in William Wilberforce's day told him to stop being a "one issue" politician and to stop harping on the issue of slavery. Yet, his single-mindedness can be clearly heard:

"Let us not despair; it is a blessed cause, and success, ere long, will crown our exertions. Already we have gained one victory; we have obtained, for these poor creatures, the recognition of their human nature, which, for a while was most shamefully denied. This is the first fruits of our efforts; let us persevere and our triumph will be complete. Never, never will we desist till we have wiped away this scandal from the Christian name, released ourselves from the load of guilt, under which we at present labour, and extinguished every trace of this bloody traffic, of which our posterity, looking back to the history of these enlightened times, will scarce believe that it has been suffered to exist so long a disgrace and dishonour to this country."

Q. Why is the UN Rights of the Child Treaty "ridiculous"?

A. Replacing the rights of parents and family with the right of the state to tell people how to raise children is a terrible idea. Our children are not wards of the state! They belong to us! Rather than reinvent the wheel, I refer you here. We often hear (especially in California, in light of Prop. 8) that government has no business in our bedrooms. Well, I think the government has no business being in our living rooms, either.


Thank you for asking! If you have any questions for The Tribe, feel free to ask! For more of our Q and A, click here.

Answering your questions: Christmas Gift Giving

Mrs. C. recently asked:

"Curious about what you do at Christmas. You seem too practical to get a bunch of cheapy made in China toys but too cheap to buy 58 of the handcrafted, made in New England by skilled artisan-type toys. So what do you do?? If you live a more minimalist lifestyle, do you skip the toys?"

This question made me (and my mom) laugh because I am so far from a minimalist it's not even funny. I am in a constant battle against clutter that seems to accumulate on otherwise unoccupied surfaces, such as my desk, the hutch, the top of the refrigerator. As we speak the children are laboriously cleaning the boys' room because it looks like their closet and toy boxes have vomited all over the room. Seriously, it's scary.

Aspire as I may to live a life unencumbered by the cares of the world, the clutter follows me. I do, however, try to live a simple life. I try to avoid things (not just toys) that require batteries, are flashy, are made in China, are made by exploited workers, require too much upkeep, require no imagination, that rob family bonding time, that are too expensive, that don't promote our family's values.

So, that pretty much eliminates anything from Toy 'R' Us!

Besides the fact that Christmas is about Christ and we like to keep that focus. Christmas isn't a once a year orgy of greed. I think it's gotten way out of hand in our country. I heard one mom say that she was having a tight year financially so could only budget $50 per child and was hoping the kids would be OK with that. I thought "Yikes!"

So, with all that intro (I bet you are tired of my opinionated rant already) I will share what we are doing for Christmas this year....IF you promise not to tell my kids. Sssshhhhhhhh!


Christmas Eve living room picnic. Then we all watch a Christmas movie and sleep by the tree, admiring the lights.

~I love the tradition of stockings. I love all those little funny presents that don't amount to much but certainly show that the giver knows the receiver well. I read about an old Victorian tradition that we adopted when Meg was a baby. (We only do this in the kids' stockings. Gana and I can fill each others with whatever we want!) The Victorian tradition was, "Something to eat, something to read, something to play with, something they need." So, four things go into each stocking. That keeps it simple, yet meaningful, for five kids!


Christmas morning, opening the stockings in our pajamas. After presents we eat a yummy big ol' breakfast together!

For the "Something to eat" they will probably get a pudding cup. I never buy stuff like that so for them it will be an exciting treat!

For the "Something to read" I am making the boys prayer books. This is a little picture book that they can "read" during devotions. There will be family pictures, a picture of an unborn baby, maps of the 10/40 window, the U.S.A., and Mongolia, pictures of our pastors, etc. This will help them to focus their prayers. I've already purchased Meg a book about Amy Carmichael.

This year Meg and Israel are going to get juggling scarves as their "Something to play with." I'll make these. They've been wanting to learn to juggle and learning with scarves is easier than with balls.

Luc and Caesar are going to get a funky homemade game for their "Something to play with." When we were at the L.A. County Fair we saw a fun game in the Frontier Land section. It was essentially two small cans, like tuna cans, nailed to a wooden stick. And there was a small bean bag that was tossed from can to can and from one person to another. So, I bought some large-ish tuna cans and saved them after we enjoyed some sandwiches. Gana will handle the rest. I know, I know, sounds so cheap and hokey, but the kids loved that game. And that's what matters!

For the "Something they need" they will all get a new toothbrush in their favorite color or character.

~Besides stockings we give each child one gift. Meg's will probably be a Bible, as she has been asking for one now that she can read. For Captain I am making a memory game of memories. I have some small wooden tiles that I will decoupage pictures of our family, church, home, etc. for playing memory.

The other stuff isn't all worked out yet, but I trust by Christmas Eve I'll have it all figured out!

My two favorite Christmas traditions are the celebration of Advent and Epiphany. I will save those topics for a separate post, though. For now enjoy a sleeping baby (Captain when he was three months old) under our Christmas tree:

Answering your questions: Tofu Talk

Vegetarian tostadas. I used the already-seasoned pepper garlic tofu and a homemade cactus salsa.

A reader emailed me asking for tips or recipes for eating tofu. Your wish is my command!


Tofu is a really versatile food. It's has many health claims, that I'm sure you've all heard. It's also pretty cheap! A package costs 1.50 or less. So, if you use a package to replace the meat in a meal that's a great price!


But lots of people don't like it or THINK they don't like it. If at first you don't care for it, cook it differently the next time. Because truly it's a very adaptable food! Here are some tips and then some recipes:



~When learning to cook and eat tofu I think it's best to start with the Extra Firm. Tofu comes in a variety of firmnesses (Is that a word?). New tofu eaters usually like Extra Firm.



~Rinse it well and let it drain between paper towels or cottoncloths--gently pressing it, before you cut it up.


~I think it's best to start eating it in foods that have a lot of flavor, like curries, sweet 'n' sour, Thai, etc. For example: you can add it to your usual curry dish in the place of the meat, for part of the meat or in addition to the meat. You can add lots of other vegetables and make a nice stir-fry. But here's the key to getting tofu to soak up flavor: heat it up first. Then add some marinade or spices. For a stir-fry try soy sauce, ginger, crushed garlic, and sesame oil. Let it soak for at least 30 minutes. Then cook it up with the other vegetables. (If you live in the States, you can buy tofu with flavors already added. It's a fun short cut.)


~To get the tofu to have a more "meaty" texture (if you're really looking for a meat substitute) you can freeze it first. Then when it thaws it has a different texture.


~For really decadent tasting desserts buy silken tofu. I t purees so nicely. Here's a recipe for WONDERFUL vegan chocolate cream pie that uses tofu. It's so wonderful no one will believe that there are no eggs or cream in sight!


Chocolate Cream Pie

1 cup silken tofu
1/4 cup oil
1/2 cup sweetener (sugar, rapadura, etc.)
4 T. Cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Blend until really smooth in a blender or food processor. Poor into prepared crust and chill until set.


~Try mixing half silken tofu and half peanut butter. Blend in a blender.Use as a sandwich spread. The kids like this!


~Crumble tofu and fry it like ground beef with spices. Add to enchiladas, lasagna or spaghetti. If you want it to resemble meat use the freezing tip. If you want it to be like ricotta cheese, don't freeze it first. This is a great way to trick people into eating tofu! People in my family used to say that they hated tofu. But, I make these type of dishes with tofu all the time. And they eat it up.

Happy Tofu Eating!