She hugged her cup of tea a little closer and a sigh escaped. She looked wistfully out the window and saw a squirrel who seemed so carefree as she busily went about her work collecting nuts. Or was it a he? To her in that moment, she couldn’t find the strength to be grateful for being a female. She glanced about her little apartment with critical eyes. The dishes that piled in the sink, the clothes still unfolded on the sofa. To her it was a picture of what she could expect every morning of every day for the rest of her life. There was no relief in this world—at least none in sight. She peeled her eyes from that scene to her growing belly. She felt the baby adjust himself in her womb. There was one thing she could always be thankful for. She sighed again. This sighing was becoming a habit. She patted the baby. If only she could offer him a happier world.
Just then the phone rang.
“Hello! Janie? It’s Abbie!”
“Oh, hello, Abbie,” the sad woman replied trying to muster a little enthusiasm, but it didn’t come off very convincing to the perceptive woman on the other end of the line.
“Would you like to have lunch today? My treat! I found a wonderfully quaint little place—a little quirky. I know you’ll love it!”
Janie thought about her day’s plans……dishes, laundry, Oprah in the afternoon. Well, with a schedule like that…..
“Ummm…I have rather a lot to do today. And truthfully, I don’t feel much like going out. But, thanks.”
Abbie replied, “Oh, well, maybe another day then. Listen, Janie, I’m praying that today God will send something to bring you joy, something to show you that He is with you all the time.”
“Thanks.” Janie wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, but didn’t want to be rude.
Before they hung up Abbie said, “Listen, if you change your mind about getting together today, let me know! You have my cell number! I’ll be free all day!”
~*~
“Not again!” The children were quarrelling for the umpteenth time that morning! What in the world could be the problem now, Laura thought as she rushed to attend the panic cries of “Mama!!!!!! Mama!!!!!”
She arrived to find her precious, darling little girls, the ones she viewed as perfect angels the day they were born, locked in combat! The younger, Jade, had a fistful of the elder, Myra ’s hair. Myra had her teeth on her sister’s arm, apparently thinking if she bit hard enough her hair would be freed. In the crib, the baby wailed.
Another day in the life of this tired Mama. While trying to mediate this squabble, she felt her ire rising up! The kids soon parted—sent to neutral corners while Laura tried to soothe the baby.
She took little Julie to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. Taking the first sip, she spilled some on her already stained bathrobe.
“Here comes the guilt,” she thought. She had lost her temper with her children again! She hated that look in their eyes. It was as if she has a bystander watching herself rant and could not stop it. The tears welled up in her eyes as she beat herself up for being an unfit mother. She looked down at her little one who had fallen asleep. Laura’s tears dripped off her chin and landed on Julie’s chubby cheeks. She stirred, but did not wake up. “What a gift this child is.”
Just then she heard the familiar bell from the computer. Someone was messaging her. She went to see. It was her mother.
“Good morning, Sweetie. How’s your morning going?”
Should Laura tell her about her guilty feelings, the fact that it was 10:30 and she hadn’t showered or dressed? She turned off the computer.
Gently she placed the baby on the couch and dutifully placed a pillow next to her to keep her from rolling off.
“Girls, please come here.” Her daughters with tear stained cheeks sulked in at a snail’s pace. “Let’s pray, girls.”
The weary mother sat on the floor and gathered her little ones into her lap. “Listen, Mama’s really sorry for losing her temper with you. Seems like I’m a little stressed these days. It’s not your fault. Forgive me?” The little girls nodded slowly, their little hearts so soft towards their mother whom they loved so dearly!
“Who would like to pray first?” Laura asked. Jade’s hand shot up. She always wanted to be the first in everything!
“Jesus, thank you for our mama. Please help her not to be stressed anymore. Send her something today to make her happy and have peace.” Sometimes she was too wise for her age.
~*~
The sun shone brightly through the blinds, splashing its radiance onto the sleeping woman. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes and looked at the clock—10 a.m. A smile stole over her lips. She never slept so late! She always believed the early bird caught the worm! Let’s see, today she had to clip back the roses, hoe the vegetable patch and take some eggs to a neighbor. If there was time, perhaps she could walk to the little café on the corner for some Chai and a scone. With that pleasant prospect, she rolled over and reached for the right side of the bed.
Then reality came crashing in. That side of the bed was empty. She allowed her hand to linger and lightly rub the cold sheet. Yes, that’s right, it has been empty nearly a month now. When would she remember that it would always be empty. She looked at the nightstand at the old black and white picture. He was so tall and handsome in full military dress. She looked so timid, but with a sparkle in her eyes. There had been no money or time for a fancy wedding. Just a bouquet of flowers and a glass of champagne on the steps of the courthouse on a weekend leave during World War II. But, their family and friends shared in their joy. They had simple gifts from their loved ones—a few housekeeping essentials and war bonds. But, her Uncle Gino had given them a special gift and released a flock of doves. Seeing those tiny, yet magnificent creatures fly over them gave her heart a thrill. She often thought back to that day and the memory always gave her renewed hope and promise for the future.
They had been through some highs and lows together. Birth of children, death of one. Long days at the factory, lay-offs, and starting over. Moving across country, leaving behind treasured friends. Together they watched their four remaining children grow up, marry, have children. Theirs was a blessed life. There were no regrets, save one. The fact that he had gone before her to their reward.
“Darling,” she said as she looked at her handsome groom, “We said till death us do part and we did it. Why couldn’t I go with you!” A sob unwillingly escaped and the warm tears began to soak his pillow.
~*~
Janie looked at the clock. It was dusk. Perhaps now it was cool enough to take a stroll outside. She opened her door and breathed deeply. Her baby did a little kick and roll. Perhaps she would just sit on her porch and let the cool air do its magic. As she lay back letting her hand tap on her belly she heard an unusual sound. Was it water running? No, what can it be? She looked around. There, landing on her porch railing, was an exquisite white bird. It cooed so charmingly that even this pessimistic young lady had to smile. Where had it come from? Lovely doves such as these don’t just live in the wild. Where had she seen a dove before? Her mind flashed back to a picture she saw in the waiting room of the clinic. It was there she found out she was pregnant. There hung a picture of a dove and a man who was so peaceful that the dove rested on Him. Was that Jesus?
Suddenly she remembered what her friend, Abbie had said, “Today God will send something to bring you joy, something to show you that He is with you all the time.”
The thought made goosebumps rise all over Janie’s arms. Soon the dove flitted away. Janie went to her phone, “Abbie? This is Janie. Is it too late to get together today?”
Somehow in the midst of the mess of her life, she felt a glimmer of hope that was fighting all odds to become a flame.
Just then the phone rang.
“Hello! Janie? It’s Abbie!”
“Oh, hello, Abbie,” the sad woman replied trying to muster a little enthusiasm, but it didn’t come off very convincing to the perceptive woman on the other end of the line.
“Would you like to have lunch today? My treat! I found a wonderfully quaint little place—a little quirky. I know you’ll love it!”
Janie thought about her day’s plans……dishes, laundry, Oprah in the afternoon. Well, with a schedule like that…..
“Ummm…I have rather a lot to do today. And truthfully, I don’t feel much like going out. But, thanks.”
Abbie replied, “Oh, well, maybe another day then. Listen, Janie, I’m praying that today God will send something to bring you joy, something to show you that He is with you all the time.”
“Thanks.” Janie wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, but didn’t want to be rude.
Before they hung up Abbie said, “Listen, if you change your mind about getting together today, let me know! You have my cell number! I’ll be free all day!”
~*~
“Not again!” The children were quarrelling for the umpteenth time that morning! What in the world could be the problem now, Laura thought as she rushed to attend the panic cries of “Mama!!!!!! Mama!!!!!”
She arrived to find her precious, darling little girls, the ones she viewed as perfect angels the day they were born, locked in combat! The younger, Jade, had a fistful of the elder, Myra ’s hair. Myra had her teeth on her sister’s arm, apparently thinking if she bit hard enough her hair would be freed. In the crib, the baby wailed.
Another day in the life of this tired Mama. While trying to mediate this squabble, she felt her ire rising up! The kids soon parted—sent to neutral corners while Laura tried to soothe the baby.
She took little Julie to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. Taking the first sip, she spilled some on her already stained bathrobe.
“Here comes the guilt,” she thought. She had lost her temper with her children again! She hated that look in their eyes. It was as if she has a bystander watching herself rant and could not stop it. The tears welled up in her eyes as she beat herself up for being an unfit mother. She looked down at her little one who had fallen asleep. Laura’s tears dripped off her chin and landed on Julie’s chubby cheeks. She stirred, but did not wake up. “What a gift this child is.”
Just then she heard the familiar bell from the computer. Someone was messaging her. She went to see. It was her mother.
“Good morning, Sweetie. How’s your morning going?”
Should Laura tell her about her guilty feelings, the fact that it was 10:30 and she hadn’t showered or dressed? She turned off the computer.
Gently she placed the baby on the couch and dutifully placed a pillow next to her to keep her from rolling off.
“Girls, please come here.” Her daughters with tear stained cheeks sulked in at a snail’s pace. “Let’s pray, girls.”
The weary mother sat on the floor and gathered her little ones into her lap. “Listen, Mama’s really sorry for losing her temper with you. Seems like I’m a little stressed these days. It’s not your fault. Forgive me?” The little girls nodded slowly, their little hearts so soft towards their mother whom they loved so dearly!
“Who would like to pray first?” Laura asked. Jade’s hand shot up. She always wanted to be the first in everything!
“Jesus, thank you for our mama. Please help her not to be stressed anymore. Send her something today to make her happy and have peace.” Sometimes she was too wise for her age.
~*~
The sun shone brightly through the blinds, splashing its radiance onto the sleeping woman. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes and looked at the clock—10 a.m. A smile stole over her lips. She never slept so late! She always believed the early bird caught the worm! Let’s see, today she had to clip back the roses, hoe the vegetable patch and take some eggs to a neighbor. If there was time, perhaps she could walk to the little café on the corner for some Chai and a scone. With that pleasant prospect, she rolled over and reached for the right side of the bed.
Then reality came crashing in. That side of the bed was empty. She allowed her hand to linger and lightly rub the cold sheet. Yes, that’s right, it has been empty nearly a month now. When would she remember that it would always be empty. She looked at the nightstand at the old black and white picture. He was so tall and handsome in full military dress. She looked so timid, but with a sparkle in her eyes. There had been no money or time for a fancy wedding. Just a bouquet of flowers and a glass of champagne on the steps of the courthouse on a weekend leave during World War II. But, their family and friends shared in their joy. They had simple gifts from their loved ones—a few housekeeping essentials and war bonds. But, her Uncle Gino had given them a special gift and released a flock of doves. Seeing those tiny, yet magnificent creatures fly over them gave her heart a thrill. She often thought back to that day and the memory always gave her renewed hope and promise for the future.
They had been through some highs and lows together. Birth of children, death of one. Long days at the factory, lay-offs, and starting over. Moving across country, leaving behind treasured friends. Together they watched their four remaining children grow up, marry, have children. Theirs was a blessed life. There were no regrets, save one. The fact that he had gone before her to their reward.
“Darling,” she said as she looked at her handsome groom, “We said till death us do part and we did it. Why couldn’t I go with you!” A sob unwillingly escaped and the warm tears began to soak his pillow.
~*~
Janie looked at the clock. It was dusk. Perhaps now it was cool enough to take a stroll outside. She opened her door and breathed deeply. Her baby did a little kick and roll. Perhaps she would just sit on her porch and let the cool air do its magic. As she lay back letting her hand tap on her belly she heard an unusual sound. Was it water running? No, what can it be? She looked around. There, landing on her porch railing, was an exquisite white bird. It cooed so charmingly that even this pessimistic young lady had to smile. Where had it come from? Lovely doves such as these don’t just live in the wild. Where had she seen a dove before? Her mind flashed back to a picture she saw in the waiting room of the clinic. It was there she found out she was pregnant. There hung a picture of a dove and a man who was so peaceful that the dove rested on Him. Was that Jesus?
Suddenly she remembered what her friend, Abbie had said, “Today God will send something to bring you joy, something to show you that He is with you all the time.”
The thought made goosebumps rise all over Janie’s arms. Soon the dove flitted away. Janie went to her phone, “Abbie? This is Janie. Is it too late to get together today?”
Somehow in the midst of the mess of her life, she felt a glimmer of hope that was fighting all odds to become a flame.
~*~
Laura looked with a longing smile at her little girls rolling on the lawn and blowing dandelion fluff. She wouldn’t scold, the girls had had too much of that lately. Laura sat on her patio balancing her checkbook. “This is a futile exercise,” she thought. “No matter how you write it, zero is still zero and will always be.”
Just then she heard a rustling in the bushes. She startled. She startled so easily since her husband had been away. She turned to see a dove, white as snow and so diminutive. He seemed to look right at her. She caught her breath and didn’t dare to move nor to call the girls to see it. The dove cooed, calked its head to the side and hopped a little closer.
In spite of herself Laura smiled. The bird cooed once more and then so delicately lighted and flew away. From some unknown reservoir inside her, laughter sprung up! She laughed in spite of herself as she watched her little friend fly away.
Without warning, she got up and ran to her girls. She gathered them up one by one, spun them around and laughed. “Mama’s happy!” her girls said as they giggled and fell on the grass and found more dandelions that needed blowing!
Just then she heard a rustling in the bushes. She startled. She startled so easily since her husband had been away. She turned to see a dove, white as snow and so diminutive. He seemed to look right at her. She caught her breath and didn’t dare to move nor to call the girls to see it. The dove cooed, calked its head to the side and hopped a little closer.
In spite of herself Laura smiled. The bird cooed once more and then so delicately lighted and flew away. From some unknown reservoir inside her, laughter sprung up! She laughed in spite of herself as she watched her little friend fly away.
Without warning, she got up and ran to her girls. She gathered them up one by one, spun them around and laughed. “Mama’s happy!” her girls said as they giggled and fell on the grass and found more dandelions that needed blowing!
~*~
Phyllis did get the roses trimmed back, gardened hoed and eggs delivered, but didn’t really feel up to going out for tea. It was dusk. Was it too soon to go to bed? The days now seemed so long. They never used to. She slipped into a nightgown and wrapped herself in her husband’s robe. Although it was not cold, she could not help but feel a shiver. She lay herself down on his side of the bed. Staring out the window she sighed. Just then she saw the most remarkable sight. It made her wonder if being alone so much was causing her mind to go! There on her window sill was a dove—just like the ones released at her wedding all those years ago! It cooed. It preened its feathers and nestled itself as close to her window as it could. She watched in wonder as it tucked its head in and went to sleep. She looked from her wedding photo to the dove and back.
“Darling, those doves have always given me hope for the future. Today was the most difficult. I was out of hope. And now……” She couldn’t finish. Her wrinkled and aged-spotted hand, still so delicate, fingered the picture. She could almost feel the weave of the fabric in her husband’s uniform. A single tear slid from the corner of her eye.
“Oh, Jim,” she whispered with a smile, “I’ll see you soon.” And she closed her eyes.
~*~
Little more than a mile away, a lovely woman wept as she viewed her dove cage accidentally left open. Her beautiful bird had flown away.
Dedicated to Karen Sims, inspired by Jill Buckland.
