Today's Lunch

This past weekend I picked up a bunch of beautiful eggplant at Farmer's Market.  So, this morning I drizzled olive oil over it and roasted it until it was soft and juicy.  I let it cool and then skinned it.  I mashed the meat in a bowl and then added two vine-ripened heirloom tomatoes, a sweet yellow pepper, garlic, onion, and freshly picked cilantro.  I grated in some Parmesan cheese and added some extra olive oil so it was a beautiful consistency.  I seasoned it gently with sea salt and coarsely ground pepper.  When I tasted it I thought, "This tastes amazing now, imagine after the flavors blend a little!"  I put the lid on the dish to transfer it to the fridge where it would become something even lovelier while we were at the library.  In anticipation of coming home to eat it with some warm pita and some olives, I picked up the dish, turned to the refrigerator and dropped the entire thing on the floor.  The dish shattered.  The salad smeared its fragrant goodness over my kitchen floor. 

Before the tears fell, I cleaned it up and took the kids to In-N-Out.

I love having worked out.....

.....I hate working out.

There is not a lot to like, is there?  I hate pushing myself to my limits.  I hate having someone tell me to pick-up the pace and to work harder after I'm already working at my limits.  I hate being exposed for the weakling I am.  I hate sweating.  I hate being hot.  I hate work-out clothes--wholly unflattering.  I hate being thirsty.  I hate the pain that comes midway through the hour.  I hate how frizzy my hair gets the farther into the work-out I get and the more I sweat.  (Did I mention that I hate sweating?)  I hate having to come home and shower for the second time in the same day.  I hate having to wash an extra set of clothes.  I have enough laundry already.

But, I love having worked out.  I love the burst of energy that comes about 2 hours after an intense work-out.  I love that I have more energy and stamina throughout my days.  I love that my legs are looking less spindly and more shapely.  I love the definition in my arms that will not wave an extra hello when my hand does.  Hello Sundresses.  How I love you.  I love how my mind gets clear and focused after a work-out.  I love feeling limber with my muscles and joints all warmed up and stretched after the cool down.  I love feeling stronger and stronger each week.

I have to remind myself every week at the beginning of my work-out.  My mind and body is saying, "Why am I doing this?  I hate this.  I don't want to be doing this.  I want to be sitting in a cafe somewhere with a good book."  But somewhere deep down, my spirit replies, "Remember, that I like having had worked out.  The benefits are worth it.  Trust me."  And after the hour has passed my body and mind thanks my spirit for its tenacity.

I Corinthians 9:27

"But I discipline my body

and bring it into subjection,

lest, when I have preached to others,

I myself should become disqualified."

A *HEART* THIS!!!

My mom sent me this image from here because she said it reminded her of me.  I adore this.  The poet/photographer has a delightful blog: http://lastdayofmay.blogspot.com/.

Just your average theological-political trip to the grocery store

Had the following conversation just now in the check-out line:

Checker: How's your day? 

Me: Great.  And you?

Checker:  Good.  I got some sleep.

Me:  Good for you!  I'm jealous!

Checker: Big plans for the weekend?

Me: Well, we are going to see Joel Osteen at Dodger's Stadium tonight.

Checker: Who?

Me: A Christian speaker.

[long pause]

Checker (with a very sarcastic bent to his voice and a mocking laugh): So, you're a born-again-Christian? hahahaha.

Me (upbeat and smiling): Yep!  I sure am!

Checker: Oh.  So, you listen to Christian music?

Me: Some Christian music.

Checker:  So, who's big in Christian music right now.

[He's totally asking the wrong person.  I haven't listened to Christian radio in YEARS!]

Me:  I actually do not know.  I'm a talk-radio person.  But, our church has an awesome band, so I really like the music at church.

Checker: Oh.  So, you're politically conservative.  [I am totally not joking.  There was no continuity in these questions!]

Me: Well, now that depends on who you ask.  Some people say I am too conservative and some people say I'm not conservative enough.

Checker:  Well, did you go to the TEA Parties?

Me: No, I didn't go, but I would in a heartbeat!

Checker: Oh, so you agree with all that.  You like Sarah Palin?

Me: Actually I do.

Checker: I thought she was supposed to retire, but she's everywhere.

Me:  I think she's on the speaking circuit promoting her book.  But, you know, when you get a glimpse of eternity and know who God is, you care less about the outcome of the next election and more about the outcome of the entire world.  [Thanks to G.K. Chesterton for that bit of inspiration!]

Checker: How do you feel about Obama?  You like him?

Me: No, not really.

Checker: Why?  He's a Christian.

Me: Well, I'm not debating the man's salvation, just his politics.

Checker:  Like what?

Me: Mostly life.

Checker:  Oh, the abortion thing.  Well, I don't think anyone is for abortion.

Me: Well, he puts government money behind it and I think that's wrong.  The government really should stay out of it.

Checker:  That's what it comes down to, right?  Issues, not theology.  I mean everyone is trying to be like a good person and like belief in God and stuff.

Me:  My eyes are not on Obama or Sarah Palin or any other politician.  My eyes are on Jesus.

Checker [with a laugh]:  He's your bud!

Me: He's faithful.  He's unchanging.  He'll always be who He says He is.

Checker:  OK, have a good time at Dodger's Stadium.

Argument for small families: Less groceries to buy, less interrogation by checkers with post-adolescent angst. 

We're Moving....

...our family, not the blog ('cause that would be a real hassle).

I'm now in that difficult place, where I don't know what to pack next.  I've taken down all the pictures from the walls, packed the knick-knacks, and all books, CDs, DVD, and VHS (yes, we still have those).  I've packed all the board games.  (From now until we move we will entertain ourselves by playing car games indoors.)  I've packed the toys Saraa got for her birthday that are not opened yet.  I've packed the picnic gear.  I've packed up all the Christmas stuff and childbirth stuff. 

Now what?  What can I possibly pack that will not be a complete inconvience to be without until the first week of February.  *sigh*

"Welcome home, Gana.  I've packed all your clothes except the ones you have on and your bathrobe.  The kids?  I packed them too.  Don't worry I poked holes in the boxes."

The Vision

A few weekends ago I went on a ladies' retreat with my church. During a time of soaking prayer I had a beautiful vision that I feel led to share with you all. First of all, it was really challenging for me to begin soaking. I laid down and it was nothing like peaceful meditation. My thoughts were everywhere...except on the Lord. Finally, I quieted by heart. The next thing I knew tears were pouring down my face. I was in the presence of the Lord.

I saw myself walking through a field of grain, wearing a summer dress. I let my hands touch the grains and drift over the tops. I was walking towards Jesus who was facing me. Around me in the distance were people I admired, prophets, and pastors. All with their backs turned looking towards the mountains that surrounded the valley where I walked.

Around me were also children, lots of children--laughing, playing, running. Occasionally, I would pick up a child and walk a little ways with the child before setting him/her down. But my eyes always remained on Jesus. I did not hurry. I did not look away. My eyes were steadfastly on Him and I just contentedly walked.

As I walked I remembered all the great things those with their backs turned had prophesied over me and all the things I was expected to do. I did not do any of them. I just walked towards Jesus.

As I walked, my children all around me, laughing and playing, began to climb the mountains. As they climbed they grew. They stood on top of all the mountains surrounding my valley.

As I was seeing this scene Jesus whispered to me, "All you have to do is walk after me. That is the greatest work you could do. Your children will reach their destinies because you just follow me. Let them play and laugh. You just keep your eyes on me."

The peace I felt in this place was overwhelming. All the burdens to perform, to "do something", to achieve, to live up to man's expectations just fell away. Even now to think of it, all I sense is perfect peace.

Trying to decide....

....whether to spend the afternoon cleaning my desk or doing a craft project and catching bugs with the kids to feed to the praying mantis.

"At the worst, a house unkempt

cannot be so distressful as a life unlived."

~Dame Rose Macauley

Although, I've used this excuse for about six months now and my desk is looking mighty scary. Too bad clutter is not a valid decorating motif.

Yesterday....

I got hit on in the ghetto.

Well, it all started, actually on Wednesday when I went grocery shopping and accidentally left a bag of groceries at the store. At home that evening when I was prepping for the next day, I realized my blunder when I couldn't find the coffee or the sandwich fixings. Oh brother!

So, my day started coffee-less, which is a big bummer when you have to wake up at 6am!

I got the kids up and in motion, but then I had to drive to Los Angeles to pick up my friend Candice who was going to the fair with the kids and me. Gana stayed home with the kids while I tried to beat the morning rush. Candice's dad graciously agreed to meet me half-way between our homes, which happens to be in the ghetto an urban underprivileged neighborhood. On the way, I missed my exit and being unfamiliar with the area, I had a slight panic, but soon figured out my way back to our meeting spot.

Having taken that little scenic route, I pulled into the parking lot of Popeye's and 7-11 several minutes later than I would have otherwise. Coming out of, or rather hanging out in front of, the Popeye's at 7am were two black men. (I mention their race because according to thesaurus.com there is a difference between a ghetto and a slum. "A slum and a ghetto are different - if everyone is ethnically similar, it is a ghetto and if everyone is basically poor, it is a slum.") I kept the car running, expecting my friend to be there any minute. But, she was running late.

After sitting there listening to talk radio for several minutes one of the men approached my window saying, "Whazup, girl!"

Did I mention my morning was coffee-less? My response to him was very clever. I moved my car.

Sitting in my car a little farther away from the front door of Popeye's I kept listening to the radio. But, here he came again, knocking on the window with a "Don't be like that, girl?" as he hitched up his low-riding-chonies-showing-pants.

My sleepiness brought on by a lack of caffeine, was no longer a factor. I was awake now. This time I got out my pepper spray AND I moved my car. I would have been more uneasy had I not been in the parking lot of a 7-11 in the ghetto. It's the classic chicken-and-the-egg question. Which was there first the doughnuts or the cops? There were at least three police cars in my line-of-sight and at two police officers to a car, that makes six members of law enforcement to keep me safe.

The man walked on to stand in front of the cash advance place and then Candice and her dad arrived. I told her about the guy. She started laughing about my almost romance-in-the-hood. I replied with, "You had me from 'Whazup, girl?'"

Reminiscing

Today it took my children about three hours to fold and put away two (count 'em...2!) loads of laundry. I kid you not. Just when I was about to pull my hair out in frustration, I had a flash back.....

The year was 1991. I was 12 and my sister was 11. My mom went out in the morning to handle some business and asked us to change the sheets on her bed. We started with stripping off the old sheets and started to pretend that we were on Annie. "It's a hard-knock life for us...." Once the singing and dancing started it had to be choreographed. Then we realized it was lunch time. So, we made some sandwiches and ate them while watching TV. When we finally made it back upstairs we started putting on the new sheets. But it was so fun to choreograph that too. But, choreography is exhausting. So, we lay on the bed, catching our breath, and talking about everything under the sun. As we lay there giggling and having a good time we heard our mother's key in the door. "I'm home!"

When my mom saw her bed still unmade after almost a whole day, she said something very similar to what I said today, which went something like, "What in the world?! I only asked you to do one thing! What have you been doing all day?!?!?!?!?!"

Maybe I shouldn't be too hard on my kids. They are little bit too much like me.

Confessions

Confession is good for the soul, so they say. So, here are some things I feel I need to get off my conscience.

1. I judge you by your shopping cart. I do. In line at the market I look at what is in your cart and if it's full of sugary cereals and Capri Sun I'll assume you have unruly children. If it's full of obscure things I didn't even know the store carried I'll think you're probably pretentious. If it's full of "diet" and "lite" things I wonder, "Why doesn't she know that that stuff is actually making her gain weight and sick?" If it's full of convenience foods, I'll assume you must not be a very good cook.

Of course my cart is likely full of only the most wholesome things like milk and eggs and bread. And all organic. Healthy and totally unpretentious. That's why my children are such angels in the grocery store. (Can you hear sarcasm on the internet?)



2. I eat a lot of dessert. I eat dessert everyday. After lunch. After dinner. And with tea in the afternoon.



3. I decide whether or not to let you get in front of me in traffic, based on your bumper stickers. If you have a bunch of Obama/Biden campaign, Coexist, or anti-war stickers you're likely not going to get in front me if I have a choice. This pretty much makes me in competition with every other driver in Southern California. However, there are a few people with pro-life, NRA or Harvest Crusade stickers who I smile at and let off the gas pedal.



4. I really like stupid movies. I do not like movies that make me think, make me nervous, make me mad, or make me cry. I watch movies only for relaxation. I want fluffy, girly, silly comedies (romantic or otherwise).



5. I don't like flip-flops. (And every true Californian just gasped and erased me from their blog feeder.)



Whew. I feel better. Five is a good place to stop. If I confessed everything now you might not like me anymore. But, stopping at five leaves me feeling free and you entertained.



Do you have anything to confess?

My Dad Can Do Anything

Once, when I was about 9 and my sister about 8 we were doing cartwheels on the church lawn. My dad said he could do one. We didn't believe him. An old guy like him, do a cartwheel?! Pashaw!

So, he proved us wrong. He did a cartwheel on the lawn. And ripped the seat of his pants. It was hysterical to two little girls! We had to go home so he could change his suit before evening service.

I realized the other day watching Meg do cartwheels on the lawn that my dad was the same age then as Gana is now. And I'm not far behind. I wonder what I can't do anymore?

Year of the Woman!

(The pregnant ladies at Kingdom Partners!)

So many prophesies and prophetic acts are converging in this time. It was prophesied by several people we respect that Saraa was a baby of revival. She was conceived in intercession and was birthed in joy, bringing breakthrough with her.

It has been prophesied (by James Goll and Bob Jones) that 2009 is the Year of the Woman.

In April, Saraa and I went to Mongolia to meet with our church and to minister to women in particular. It was a full year since we returned to Mongolia to minister to a group of very hurting people.

Before we left my PMS sister (Praying Mommies of the Sisterhood!) gave me this Scripture which started me on a journey with the Lord that I have a feeling will not soon be over!

"How long will you waver,

O faithless daughter?

For the LORD has created a new thing on the earth:

a woman encircles a man."

Jeremiah 31:22

When I read this verse I really did not know what it meant. But, my spirit was stirred up and I knew that the Lord was saying something. As I studied it and meditated on it, the Lord opened so much up from this little verse!

God's relationship with His people has been one of pursuing a wayward woman. The Lord is always after us and we are faithful one minute and faithless the next. God is always the initiator and we are always the responder (or non-responder). Christians (especially of the conservative variety) are very familiar with this analogy because we've hammered home the metaphor of marriage being like Christ and the Church.

However, here God is saying that a NEW THING is going to happen. A woman will encircle a man. In the Hebrew this passage is all about motion. "Encircling" is literally wooing or courting. Here the Bible says that a new thing that has been created is a great role reversal. The woman is going to court the man. This verb gives the impression of her creating a space for him and bringing him in--almost to suffocate. (The same verb is used to describe the waters "pressing around" Jonah!)

This is what I believe God is doing with women this year. For a long time we have had a passive role (in marriage, the church, etc.) but now we are being empowered to create a space for the men and to bring them in. However, this is only part of the revelation. The Church in Scripture is often represented by a woman. I believe this is a time when THE CHURCH is going to rise up and take the initiative in our relationship with God. We will stop being passive, waiting for something to happen. We are now going to make things happen.

Watching my dear church family worshipping in a circle in the living room of one of the greatest intercessors I know, I could see the presence of the Lord come down in their midst. They are passionately pursuing God and creating a space for Him. And now GOD IS THE RESPONDER! And He is responding to their courting Him.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

"Mongolia" song by Elisha's Request.

I'm Moley.

I read this to the kids a couple years ago. Such a fun story, I think we should read it again.

Which Wind in the Willows character are you?

Ask me anything day.

So, I missed MHR and FF5 yesterday. I had planned to catch up today. But now it's 1:30 Saturday afternoon and I'm feeling particularly demotivated. (No, not unmotivated. I think I was demotivated by a series of events today. I was motivated this morning. I'm just sitting around eating cheese and crackers and ignoring everything now. Anyway.....)

Let's play a little game. Ask me anything. ANYTHING. And I will answer.....unless I don't want to. Great game rules, aren't they? It's my game. My rules.

Ask away. It can be silly, serious, bizarre, or even trivia (I'll just look up the answers for you on Wikipedia or make them up anyway).

On your mark, get set, ask!

?

I'm a Doris

This test is RIGHT-ON for me!!!

How about you?

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Doris!

You are a Doris -- "I must help others."

Dorises are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.


• * Share fun times with me.


• * Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.


• * Let me know that I am important and special to you.


• * Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

• * Reassure me that I am interesting to you.


• * Reassure me often that you love me.


• * Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Doris

• * being able to relate easily to people and to make friends


• * knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better


• * being generous, caring, and warm


• * being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings


• * being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a Doris

• * not being able to say no


• * having low self-esteem


• * feeling drained from overdoing for others


• * not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish


• * criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should


• * being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them


• * working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

Dorises as Children Often

• * are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism


• * try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding


• * are outwardly compliant


• * are popular or try to be popular with other children


• * act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention


• * are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Dorises), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Dorises)

Dorises as Parents

• * are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)


• * are often playful with their children


• * wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"


• * can become fiercely protective

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

In the Meme Time....

Several friends have done this meme. I did it and discovered I'm not half as interesting as I wish I were.

(Bold the things you've actually done.)

[Update: I decided to go back and bold number 89. I've talked a girl out of an abortion. So, that's definitely saving a life! I just didn't think of it.]

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (Define famous?)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Lovely Weekend

"You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you."

Song of Solomon 4:7

This is actually more intimate (at least to me) than I usually share on the blog. But for some reason I feel compelled to share it anyway. I feel like someone needs to read it.

This pregnancy has been so difficult--emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I pretty much have felt like a train wreck. I have felt like a failure in so many ways of late. I was starting to think something was seriously wrong with me.

I threw a tantrum with the Lord a week or two ago. I told Him that it wasn't fair that God answered everyone else's prayers, but not mine. I told Him that I felt like I wasn't important to Him. I was like a D-list follower, despite trying to make His A-list. I felt so disconnected from Him.

This weekend I went away on a Women's Retreat with our church. On the first evening the speaker spoke about giving birth. There was so much comfort and revelation in what she had to say. After the message those that wanted to just laid on the floor and "soaked." The pastors and speaker walked around and were sort of our spiritual doulas as we birthed whatever God was giving to us. They encouraged us and spoke comfort to us. I just laid there for a bit weeping. Not a gut wrenching kind of birthing cry. Rather, it was like I finally had slowed down long enough to realize the weight and stress I had been carrying. The tears just came as a release.

Early the next morning I walked to the top of hill to a scenic view of a valley. I sat there alone and just breathed it all in. And God said, "By the way, Daja, I made this all for you."

Then I came down the mountain to worship time. We were singing the song, "Beautiful One." Do you know it? "Beautiful One, I love! Beautiful One, I adore! Beautiful One, my soul must sing!" I was sitting on the floor singing it and all of a sudden God started singing it to me! I know that might sound strange to some readers. But, I am not joking. God sang it to me. I literally could not move. Tears just streamed down my face as God sang to me that I was His beautiful one!

So, I've been reading in Song of Solomon how often the Beloved praises the Bride and calls her his lovely one, his fair one. And God brought the above verse to me. And spoke to me that there was nothing wrong with me. There was no spot in me. I am not a failure. I am His beloved. I've captured His heart.

And God brought woman after woman to me this weekend who spoke so much truth and revelation to me. I feel like my soul has been watered.

The view God made for me.

(Photo courtesy of Alhatti's website, where the retreat was held.)

Big as a House

This is the first time for people at my church and in our homeschool community to see me pregnant from beginning to end. All the time I hear how "small" I am (even though at just 26 weeks pregnant, I've already gained about 30 pounds!). I tell people to just wait. I'll be huge by the end.

People think I'm joking or being falsely modest.

Just to prove that indeed I am not, here is a picture of me before Captain was born.

No, I was not shoplifting watermelons. That is actually my belly.

New Most Embarrassing Moment

Did you ever do something really ridiculous or stupid while pregnant--when it seems like half your brain is on vacation?

When I was pregnant with Captain I left all the just purchased groceries in the car. I didn't realize it until the next day when they were, of course, ruined.

I thought that was bad.

I just did something worse. Much worse. Much much worse.

I just wrote a stupid email, that was catty to say the least, that I never meant to send. But, without realizing what I was doing I sent the mean thing! I have probably just hurt someone's feelings very badly. And email cannot be unsent.

Word to the wise: All your thoughts do not need to be typed. Because you never know when they'll fly away to do unnecessary damage.

I would be upset if I received such a strange email. I wouldn't blame this person if they decided not to speak to me. I can only hope this person will be full of grace and forgive me.

*sigh*

It's moments like this when I am aware how fully flawed I am.

Nerdish