Notice God's unutterable waste of saints, according to the judgment of the world. God plants His saints in the most useless places. We say - God intends me to be here because I am so useful. Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is. ~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, August 10
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts

Saturday, July 03, 2010

A Patchwork of Sorts


Sometimes it seems like I've lived several different lives.  I've been a chiropractic assistant, a secretary, a missionary, a pastor's wife, a pastor, a teacher, a doula....

Recently, at a Bible study people were discussing what they would do if money were no object.  People shared very wonderful, very noble, very grand visions.  If you ever have a small fortune of which you need to dispose, I know some people with wonderfully compassionate and life-giving aspirations.  Other people shared, quite honestly, actually, that they would like to travel, see the world, and improve their own living conditions.  As I sat in the back and pondered that question for myself, I had to think a lot harder than one should.  As I scrambled to come up with something as mind-blowing as what I was hearing, I realized that if I had a ton of money, I would like to be doing exactly what I am doing now, except a little more.  Let me explain: If I had more money I'd be giving bigger contributions to organizations like Compassion and VOM.  I'd take more trips to Mongolia and help our church there with resources to accomplish all their dreams.  But, my daily life, I really wouldn't want to change.  Living a quiet life, surrounded by my family with wonderful, supportive friends.

This should be your ambition:
to live a quiet life, minding your own business
and working with your hands,
just as we commanded you before.
I Thess. 4:11

My days are a patchwork of little things that perhaps don't amount to much on their own, but together are satisfying and beautiful and interesting and surround one with warmth on a chilly evening. 

In the mornings I sometimes take the dog for a stroll through our neighborhood where we smile and greet the elderly Chinese couples who are out for their morning exercise and Tai Chi.  But, sometimes I ignore the morning and cuddle up next to Gana until little children begin to join us.

In the morning we do our chores and I hang the clothes on the line, patting myself on the back that we are so "green" but really it's just that the gas lines to hook up the drying haven't been run in our garage yet.  But, as it turns out, I love hanging laundry.  Watching the diapers hang on the line and blow in the breeze causes something in my soul to stir, as if my inner pioneer woman is happy.

I love snuggling up with my babies and reading to them.  Sometimes we read silly picture books.  Sometimes we read great and lofty literature, well beyond their reading levels.  I love it when my children cry, "One more chapter, puleeeeeeeze."

I love the non-scheduled, but always welcomed breaks throughout the day when I sit down to nurse the baby.  That's usually when I update my Facebook page or blog.  In fact, as we speak the baby is happily nursing and putting her feet in my face at the same time.

I love our days at home, when I see relationships be nurtured and love flourish between my children. The other day Captain was sick and spent the day in my bed. Meg sat next to him for hours, stroking his head and reading him stories.

I love it when we have our friends or friends-to-be over.  I love sitting up late into the night swapping stories and laughing and sometimes crying.  We are rich in friendship.

I love when Gana is outside building something--like the tree house--and teaching the kids how to use a level, a square or a hammer.  I love it when they all--Gana included--come inside covered in paint and smiling.

Every day here is not perfect. We have our moments of drama, you can be sure.  But, altogether our life is what I want it to be.  Even if we struck it rich tomorrow, I wouldn't want our life to change too much.

I Timothy 6:6
But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Of all my lives already lived, I feel, at the moment at least, that what I am doing today is as important as anything I've ever done.  In fact, perhaps it's more important.  Perhaps what a woman does hidden away by her clothesline or cuddled up on her sofa with a raggedy copy of Prince Caspian is more important than what happens on Wall Street, Main Street, the White House or the School House.  What am I doing after all, with my patchwork days?  I'm making a living quilt for my family.  I'm giving my kids something--that indefinable thing called Center or Faith or Foundation that they will take with them someday when they leave our little home.  And I'm giving my husband something called Security or Warmth or Motivation that he takes with him each day when he leaves our little home and calls him home every evening.

"How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness." --G.K. Chesterton

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I love having worked out.....

.....I hate working out.

There is not a lot to like, is there?  I hate pushing myself to my limits.  I hate having someone tell me to pick-up the pace and to work harder after I'm already working at my limits.  I hate being exposed for the weakling I am.  I hate sweating.  I hate being hot.  I hate work-out clothes--wholly unflattering.  I hate being thirsty.  I hate the pain that comes midway through the hour.  I hate how frizzy my hair gets the farther into the work-out I get and the more I sweat.  (Did I mention that I hate sweating?)  I hate having to come home and shower for the second time in the same day.  I hate having to wash an extra set of clothes.  I have enough laundry already.

But, I love having worked out.  I love the burst of energy that comes about 2 hours after an intense work-out.  I love that I have more energy and stamina throughout my days.  I love that my legs are looking less spindly and more shapely.  I love the definition in my arms that will not wave an extra hello when my hand does.  Hello Sundresses.  How I love you.  I love how my mind gets clear and focused after a work-out.  I love feeling limber with my muscles and joints all warmed up and stretched after the cool down.  I love feeling stronger and stronger each week.

I have to remind myself every week at the beginning of my work-out.  My mind and body is saying, "Why am I doing this?  I hate this.  I don't want to be doing this.  I want to be sitting in a cafe somewhere with a good book."  But somewhere deep down, my spirit replies, "Remember, that I like having had worked out.  The benefits are worth it.  Trust me."  And after the hour has passed my body and mind thanks my spirit for its tenacity.

I Corinthians 9:27
"But I discipline my body
and bring it into subjection,
lest, when I have preached to others,
I myself should become disqualified."

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Resisting Temptation

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."  I Corinthians 10:13

Monday, November 09, 2009

The Vision

A few weekends ago I went on a ladies' retreat with my church. During a time of soaking prayer I had a beautiful vision that I feel led to share with you all. First of all, it was really challenging for me to begin soaking. I laid down and it was nothing like peaceful meditation. My thoughts were everywhere...except on the Lord. Finally, I quieted by heart. The next thing I knew tears were pouring down my face. I was in the presence of the Lord.

I saw myself walking through a field of grain, wearing a summer dress. I let my hands touch the grains and drift over the tops. I was walking towards Jesus who was facing me. Around me in the distance were people I admired, prophets, and pastors. All with their backs turned looking towards the mountains that surrounded the valley where I walked.

Around me were also children, lots of children--laughing, playing, running. Occasionally, I would pick up a child and walk a little ways with the child before setting him/her down. But my eyes always remained on Jesus. I did not hurry. I did not look away. My eyes were steadfastly on Him and I just contentedly walked.

As I walked I remembered all the great things those with their backs turned had prophesied over me and all the things I was expected to do. I did not do any of them. I just walked towards Jesus.

As I walked, my children all around me, laughing and playing, began to climb the mountains. As they climbed they grew. They stood on top of all the mountains surrounding my valley.

As I was seeing this scene Jesus whispered to me, "All you have to do is walk after me. That is the greatest work you could do. Your children will reach their destinies because you just follow me. Let them play and laugh. You just keep your eyes on me."

The peace I felt in this place was overwhelming. All the burdens to perform, to "do something", to achieve, to live up to man's expectations just fell away. Even now to think of it, all I sense is perfect peace.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A Peace Retreat

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding,
shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7

How do you handle frustration and conflict in your home--especially between your children? Some parents try to eliminate all conflict for their children and make frustration non-existent. But what does a child really learn that way? Frustrations in life will happen. Everyone will have bad days, days when they are not on top of their game, days when things do not go as planned. Being misunderstood is part of the human experience. Thankfully, we have a Friend who is familiar with the feeling.

Instead of eliminating conflict, we'd much rather teach our children how to deal with it.

I was recently so inspired by this post. "What a lovely idea!" I thought and immediately set out to create a peace retreat in our home.

I started by rearranging the furniture in our little apartment to make room. I bought a little stool/storage ottoman from Target on clearance and a scented candle. And I started making a prayer book. It has pictures and collages to help the little ones (especially the ones who cannot yet read) to meditate on the Prince of Peace.

But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.

Luke 5:16


Right away the children started using the peace retreat. When the noise and commotion of this big family got overwhelming, I'd find one of them sitting there looking at a book or praying. A couple days after setting up the peace retreat, Captain (four years old) was very frustrated with his older siblings. Clearly, he wasn't being understood and that made him angry! I picked him up and put him on the stool. "Would you like to spend some time with Jesus, Cappy?" He nodded, his eyes full of tears.

I lit the candle and left him with the prayer books. Ten to fifteen minutes later he got up and went to his room, a changed boy. That night as I tucked him in he said, "Mom, the next time I'm naughty, I'll put myself in the peace retreat."

There is a notebook there where the children have doodled or written prophetic notes while spending time with Jesus. There is a picture of two stick figures walking together--one big person and one small person. I'm told that it is Jesus and Luc. On another page there is a note that says "I love you, Israel." In the same handwriting on the next page it says, "Jesus, why did you write that?"

It warms my heart to see my children having conversations with the One Who Is Peace. I love it that they are learning to separate themselves from their play, the TV, their books and all other things and to spend time with Jesus.

Often Moms need a peace retreat with Jesus, too.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Stop Trying So Hard People!


"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free."

Galatians 5:1



What does it mean to be a Christian? Brennan Manning once asked this question to a group of seniors at a Catholic College. "Their answers were so similar in content that I reduced them to a single paragraph that read: 'To be a Christians means that I must go to Mass on Sunday, I can't eat meat on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, I can't practice birth control, get a divorce, procure an abortion, or see an X-rated movie.' For many people in the church, Christianity is not the Good News. The Gospel is not the glad tidings of freedom and salvation proclaimed by Christ Jesus but a rigid code of do's and don't's, a tedious moralizing, a list of minimum requirements for avoiding the pains of hell." (Lion and Lamb, The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus)





A friend and I were recently discussing the compulsion to try to be better Christians. Why is it that Christianity seems to involve so much fleshly effort? There is a mutual friend that we'd both like to pick up and toss into the Holy Spirit's river so she can soak up some freedom! This dear lady always seems to be trying so hard and never measures up to her own standards.





For a while now Gana and my parenting philosophy has been not so much to conform behavior, but to win the heart. I remember Rich Mullins saying, "Don't be good. Be God's." Yet, so often even for myself I am just trying to be good, as if my goodness has any merit whatsoever. It's like I think God is going to really impressed with me if I behave a certain way.





Brennan Mannning again: "I believe Jesus calls all of us to let go of the desire to appear good, so that we can listen to the word within us and move in the mystery of who we are. The preoccupation with projecting the perfect image, of being a model Christian and edifying others with our virtues, leads to self-consciousness, sticky pedestal behavior, and bondage to human respect."




I don't believe that becoming a Christian is a call to work harder on our own righteousness. Instead, we are called to bear fruit. John 15:8, "My true disciples produce much fruit. This brings great glory to my Father." Ever see a tree bearing fruit? It does not TRY to bear fruit. It does not seemed stressed in trying to produce something useful. A tree bears fruit naturally when it has good roots. "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful apart from me." John 15:4

Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in all the doing, that we forget about the being. We need to be connected to the Lord and He will produce the fruit of the Spirit in us. Instead of trying to remember a hundred different things on some heavenly to-do list in order to produce fruit, how about we worry about just one thing: Love Jesus. I mean, really love Him. St. Augustine said, "Love, and do what you like."

If we truly loved Him we could take a deep breath and stop fretting over whether or not we were in His will, whether or not we were on His good-list today, whether or not He was pleased with us.

Maybe my new mantra will be, "Stop trying so hard!"


More to come....

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Follow-Up on the 10-Day Give!

Did y'all have fun giving? We did!

Before we share one of our testimonies, let's see what some of you did!

~ Thank-U-Grams to Tree of Life Crisis Pregnancy Center and our landlords
~ Gave brand new book to a friend
~ Candy to ballet students and their families
~ Sent encouraging email to a friend for no reason
~ Placed anonymous happiness note on stranger's car
~ Paid for the order of the car behind us in drive-thru at Jack In the Box
~ Put $5 and a "God Bless! " note on stranger's car
~ Paid for a little kid's chips at the deli for lunch

~ Gave Carbonite as a gift
~Took a couple from church to lunch
~ Sent donation to Advocates for Faith and Freedom (at least two people did this!)
~Bought and gave food to Loaves and Fishes (a local food bank)
~ Bought cat figurine for an elderly lady who loves cats and collects cat knick-knacks
~ Gift card to Chili's for boss's day
~ Monetary gift to friend who helps out with motorcycle's mechanical problems (not in payment)

~ Bought vintage mirror for daughter
~Gave Amish Friendship Bread
~Shared a picnic with ladies from church

Here's a testimony from The Tribe. It's about the blessings being turned back to us!

About a year ago there was this young lady sitting in front of us at church. We were getting into small groups praying for the sick. Luc prayed for a stomach problem she had.

This past weekend out of the blue she stopped by our house saying that God told her to go to Costco for us. She brought diapers, wipes, cereal, oatmeal, laundry soap, bread, tea, kleenex, shampoo, spaghetti sauce, pasta, toilet paper, and on and on. Seriously, that's not even half of it.

It's taking up a huge corner of the dining room. It's so much stuff! And it's stuff we actually use! How often does someone who has never been to your home and doesn't really know you buy you exactly the right thing? Like high efficiency (he) environmentally friendly laundry detergent!




This girl obviously heard from the Lord and followed His leading in shopping for us!

Ladies, this is just so special. If you remember from this post, I had been whining to the Lord about being on his back burner and on His D-list. Well, I think we broke something in the spirit by choosing to "come in the opposite spirit."

I'm not a second-class Christian. I'm on the forefront of God's mind. He spoke to this lady to bring me a stock-pile of things that we need and want. He wants to give us the things we want, too. One example: A couple days ago the kids were sitting around the table eating and they said, "Mom, we want chapstick." I said, "I have some. You can use it." They said, "No, remember a long time ago you gave us each our own chapstick?" (I think it was in their Christmas stocking, but I can't really remember.) "Well, we want our own--each of us our own kind."

I didn't take it too seriously. Not that chapstick is so costly, but it's not exactly on the top of my list of priorities to run to the store for five kinds of chapstick.

Well, as this sweet lady was bringing stuff up our stairs, she handed Meg a package of chapstick with six different kinds of chapstick, each in one of the children's favorite colors. They all got their OWN CHAPSTICK IN THEIR FAVORITE COLOR!


God doesn't just look out for our basic needs. Like a loving Father He likes to bless us with the desires of our hearts, too!

Keep giving! It's the key to everything! Give away! Give up! Give in! For-give! Give and it shall be given to you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together and RUNNING OVER!




Friday, August 22, 2008

Worse Than Dung

The Lord teaches me lessons from odd things sometimes.

Belgee sitting in a pile of goat and sheep poo.


In the countryside in Mongolia I found Belgee sitting happily in the fertilizer. It was dry (mostly), but still...ew!



The Lord said, "There are worse things than dung." Oh really, Lord? Dung seems to be fairly disgusting. What could be worse?



"Salt is good; but if the salt has lost its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is neither fit for the land nor for the dunghill, but men throw it out. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!" Luke 14:34-35



It would seem from this that being unsalty is worse than dung. If salt still has even a little flavor it can still be used in the dunghill. But when salt has lost all its effectiveness, you cannot even throw it on a dunghill.


I guess being useless is worse than being stinky.


Being ineffective is worse than being wasteful.



Poop-face

Sometimes in the Church we see people that are....um...stinky. By that I mean that they are not a great witness or a great representative of our faith. I'll be honest, some Christians are annoying. Sometimes in trying to exercise their gifts they are odd, other-worldly, or just seem to be wasting their gifts on the wrong ventures. They may even fall into cr*p....er....I mean sin. And as fellow Christians we are tempted to write them off altogether or to distance ourselves and act as if we don't know them.




But the Bible says that there is something worse than being cr*ppy. Being completely ineffective in this world is worse. Being without influence, without spunk, without saltiness is worse.




It seems to me to be a far worse thing to sit still--afraid to fail, than to take a leap a faith and risk the chance of getting some dung on me.




Risk is better than playing it safe.




God can use a poopy Christian. He can't use a bland one.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

A Father's Day Meditation

Pastor Che spoke this morning about glory and honor. As a sort of side bar, he mentioned something that really spoke to me. When Christ was baptized by John the Baptist the Father spoke audibly from heaven, "This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased."

I've always thought, "Well, of course. What is there not to be well pleased in in Jesus." I've also always thought that that would be a wonderful thing to hear at the end of my days when I stand before the Lord. One of those things that inspires me to run a good race.

However, when the Father spoke this over the Son, Jesus had not yet performed any miracles (at least none that are recorded). He had not preached any public sermons. His official public ministry had not yet begun.

This speaks something very important: God's approval is not based on my performance.

That's really something to chew on for anyone who has people-pleasing tendencies.

Another good Father's Day Meditation here.

And HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to my dad, who loves me unconditionally and never misses an opportunity to publicly show that he's proud of me. You've been a good example, Dad, of how the Heavenly Father sees me.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

A Perfect Mothering Moment

He gives his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:2
I love those perfect mothering moments. A moment that makes all the frustrating moments, all the tiring moments, all the less-than-beautiful moments fade away. A moment that makes everything worth it.



Last night I woke up to tend to the baby who had awakened. I cuddled him for a bit and then set him back in bed sleeping. He is lovely to watch sleep--so peaceful and beautiful. Yet, that wasn't the perfect moment to which I refer.



When I crept back to my bed in the dark a found a cuddly soft little one between Gana and I. Luc had weaseled his way into our bed, as he does many nights. I never can recall when he gets there, I just wake up to his sleepy sweetness. I scooted him over and said, "I love you, Lukey. Do you love me?" (I adore talking to my kids and making my kids talk to me while they sleep.)



In his sleep he said "Yes" and gave me a kiss. He rolled over and threw an arm over me.



The sweetest way for a mama to sleep is with the snuggliest kid. The sweetest way for the snuggliest kid to sleep is between his mama and daddy where he feels safe and loved.

When I was a teenager and young adult God was taking me through a season of healing from some less-than-lovely-things in my young life. While trying to sleep I would close my eyes and imagine myself sleeping in the center of the hand of God--snuggled up, safe and loved. It's still a comforting meditation for me.

The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you. He thrusts out the enemy before you; it is he who cries, `Destroy them!' Deut. 33:27

I hope some day Luc connects the feelings of peace he feels when in our arms with the peace that passes all understanding that comes when in God's arms. When you really think about it, as his parents, Gana and I, are Luc's first understanding of God. To what else is he to compare God?

I pray he never has to unlearn what we model before him, but merely transfer the positive images to someone bigger, infinitely more competent and perfect.

A perfect mothering moment--a delightful sensation, yes. But, even more, an eternal lesson in the loving heart of God.

But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is quiet with its mother. Yes, like a small child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:2

Sunday, May 11, 2008

A Reflection on "Christ and Culture" by Richard H. Niebuhr

(The following is something Gana wrote for his Christ and Culture class.)

I found this book of particular interest, especially in light of my history. I grew up in a culture that could possibly create a sixth stance: Culture without Christ. I had never even heard the name of Jesus or the word Christ until well after the “Peaceful Revolution” which brought down communism in Mongolia in 1991. There was not a single church in Mongolia--underground or otherwise. When missionaries came to Mongolia, I was brought to the Church out of mere curiosity (what was this strange idea of gathering together with other believers every Sunday? I had never heard of such a thing!) and later to Christ out of need--a need that when revealed actually surprised me. As a Mongolian I do not have a Christian history, nor is Christianity written into our culture. I have read that Kublai Khan (the grandson of Genghis Khan) respected the Christian faith and sent a letter to Rome asking for priests. But for reasons unknown they never arrived in Mongolia. That is the only Christian culture’ history in Mongolia.


In looking at these five types I could see myself and my journey in several of them. How I see Christ and Culture now and how I reflect on this question at this stage of my Christian walk is perhaps different than it was when I became a Christian fifteen years ago. It is perhaps different now than even five years ago. I have been through a process.


Growing up I attended Soviet schools and was mandated to attend Soviet youth camps. We were not taught about God. It’s not that we were taught religion was bad--we were taught nothing about it at all. No one had to teach us that Jesus wasn’t the Redeemer. We didn’t know who he was to begin with! There were no churches; there were only a few Buddhist temples. Traditionally, however, Mongolians were not so much Buddhist as they were shamanists. (Buddhism came to Mongolia via Tibet.) All that being said, my religious cultural understanding was very limited. On one hand the blatant disregard of religion under communism and on the other hand fear-based superstition that came with Buddhism and Shamanism.


When I came to Christ I probably adhered to “Christ Against Culture” as there was so much in my culture that did not reflect Christ. For Christians in a post-communist countries, those strict lines are often drawn, affirming “the sole authority of Christ over the Christian and resolutely rejects culture’s claims to loyalty.” My emphasis was certainly on complete loyalty to Jesus and to the local church and the utter rejection of Mongolian tradition and culture. This could be the reason why those of an older generation didn’t show equal excitement for budding Christianity. (I will interject, that as the church has grown in Mongolia much of it is that of an older generation. I think that this occurred because we moved from Christ Against Culture to more moderate stances, allowing for national/cultural traditions.) One factor that contributed to this was the reading of Russian literature, especially after the fall of communism. I was impressed that Niebuhr recognized the contributions of Tolstoy to this stance. At this point in my walk with Christ, I did not understand the power of the Spirit, not to just get us to heaven, but to bring heaven to earth. My uncle, who was a correspondent for the communist government before he retired, summed it up perfectly as he explained his unique belief and perspective to my in-laws (who come from a completely different background. They are Americans and pastors at that!): “I had to be an atheist because of communism. I was a Buddhist out of respect for my mother. But, if there is any hope for this country, it is in Christianity.”


Which brings me to where I am now. I feel I am now increasingly embracing Christ as the Transformer of Culture. I first became aware of Christ’s power to not just survive culture, but to transform it, as I saw more and more of Western Postmodern Culture changing Modern Mongolian Culture. I realized that the culture was a changing, not a stagnant, thing. In an Asian culture each one is a part of the community and must play his/her part--likened to being a part of a larger family where roles are well-defined. Therefore, one is not just observing culture, but is an agent of the culture. Culture doesn’t stand still--it is constantly evolving. If we try to hang on to it or reject it we are missing opportunities to win people to Christ!


Add to this line of thinking that in 1998 I planted a church in the capital city of Mongolia, which is becoming increasingly urbanized. Members of my church were politicians (one of whom actually helped write our constitution in the new Parliamentary Republic), actors, models, and musicians. These did not just attend on Sundays but became small group leaders--reaching out to those in their “celebrity” or “political” spheres. I started to realize that if Christ was a Savior of all it included those that held influence in society. God was not asking converts to give up their livelihoods, but to make Christ Lord of all of life and to make a difference where they were--offering others the hope of heaven and bringing heaven to earth.


It was easy post-communism to use Christianity as merely a better substitute for the law we had been under. It was as if it was difficult for me to truly grasp that Jesus did not come to bring a “new law” but to bring a period of transforming grace. “…they refer to the redeemer more than to the giver of the new law, and to God whom men encounter more than to the representative of the best spiritual resources in humanity.” I do find myself, as Niebuhr proposes, becoming more hopeful in my theology and my approach to culture.


Niebuhr asserts that the conversionist’s position rests with three theological positions relating to creation, the fall from goodness, and the view of history that all things are possible. I am still considering these three theological positions from my perspective of one in transition--between two worlds, so to speak.


I see the atoning work of Christ as reversing the curse. I believe it is possible to live above the curse in Genesis 3 and recover the “it is very good” of the first two chapters of Genesis. For a while I could not dare to believe this. I saw too much wretchedness in my youth. I stood in breadlines; fought for food to eat. I was caught up in alcoholism and violence. Even though my soul was saved in 1993, I had trouble believing that the world could actually be changed. When I prayed, “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done” I saw it only as something in the eternal--something that waited for us in heaven. I neglected the next phrase: “On earth as it is in heaven.” Now I am daring to pray the whole of this prayer and to believe that Christ can transform culture.


In pondering where sin actually lies, one has to truly consider the definitions of sin and salvation. In regards to behavior, there are three areas that are perceived as sin: Biblical Absolutes, Cultural Expectations (of both church and larger society), and Personal Preferences. Often the latter two are projected as sin because of cultural conditioning, but it is only the first which can be preached as “sin.” This goes farther than mere behavior. I see sin as residing in the hearts (or liver as we say in Mongolian) of men, which manifests itself in institutions, governments, and culture. The answer is the transformed lives of individuals, which can also manifest in institutions, governments and cultures, as He takes away our heart of stone and replaces it with the heart of flesh.


I see salvation as happening in three stages: I am saved. I am being saved. I will be saved. Because Christ is the Transformer, as Christians we do not have to sin. I believe it is possible to go an entire day without sinning--but never without the possibility of sinning. I John 3:6 says, “Whoever abides in him does not sin…” and Romans 6:14 says that sin shall not have mastery over us because we are not under the law, but under grace. These verses lead me to see Christ as not just dwelling with people and culture, but more than capable of transforming it altogether! Hearts of stone becoming hearts of flesh.


“Christ is the transformer of culture…he redirects, reinvigorates, and regenerates that life of man, expressed in all human works, which in present actuality is the perverted and corrupted exercise of a fundamentally good nature; which, moreover, in its depravity lies under the curse of transiency and death, not because of external punishment has been visited upon it, but because it is intrinsically self-contradictory.”


Augustine puts it this way:
Thou, O God, sawest everything that thou hadst made, and, behold, it was very good. Yea we also see the same, and behold all things are very good….Seven times have I counted it to be written, that thou sawest that that which thou madest was good: and this is the eighth, that thou sawest everything that thou hadst made and, behold, it was not only good, but also very good, as being now altogether. For severally, they were only good; but altogether both good and very good. All beautiful bodies express the same; by reason that body consisting of members all beautiful, is far more beautiful than the same members by themselves are, by whose well-ordered blending the whole is perfected….It is one thing then for a man to think that to be ill which is good…; another, that that which is good, a man should see that it is good….and another, that when a man sees a thing that it is good, God should in him see that it is good, so namely that he should be loved in that which he made, who cannot be loved but by the Holy Ghost which he hath given…, by whom we see that whatsoever in any degree is, is good. For from him it is who himself is not in degree, but what he is, is….Let they works praise thee that we may love thee, and let us love thee that they works may praise thee.


Believing that Christ can transform culture allows us to participate in that transformation and the restoration of creation to that very good state. This can only be done in the power of the Holy Ghost. II Cor 3:8, “But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

Thursday, April 24, 2008

What do you have there in your hand?

In 2 Peter the Bible tells us that God has already given us everything that pertains to life and godliness. This took on new meaning for us on our trip to Mongolia.

Before we left, Harvest International Ministries gave us a bunch of preaching CD's from Pastor Che. They were mostly all labeled, "Stewarding Revival, Part 2," which, as I recall, is a great message. Many of our leaders speak English, so we were passing out the CD's, at random, throughout our visit.

On Wednesday afternoon I had about an hour of free time. So, I popped the CD in the computer to listen to as I tidied up the house. Immediately I realized that I had not been passing out "Stewarding Revival." The more I listened, the more astonished I became! Turns out all the CD's (I checked all remaining ones) were mislabeled! They were actually, "Blessed Are Those Who Mourn." It was THE message for our church. It was as if Pastor Che was speaking it from our pulpit, to our people. I sat in awe! Here we had exactly the right message and we didn't even know it.

I immediately addressed the remaining ones to friends and had another friend deliver them. The next day we got a call from one friend who said, "Thank you for the message. I was literally on my knees weeping. I wish I had heard that sermon years ago."

THANK YOU, LORD!

It reminded me of when Moses asked the Lord, in Exodus 4, "What if I go and people don't listen to me?" And the Lord said, "What is that in your hand?" And it was his shepherd's staff.

God used what was already in the hand of Moses to show His power and authority. To me, this situation was sort of like that. God used what we already had in our hands to bring His perfect message of hope, healing, holiness. It was one of those sacred moments where you feel God is right there with you in a manifest way.

We shared this story with our cell group last night. One guy commented how when we just do the little thing out of obedience God is often accomplishing a big thing. SO TRUE! It's not that I tried to find the perfect message to match the situation. We simply obeyed in the little thing God led us to do.

"We can do no great things; only small things with great love." (Mother Teresa)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Mercy and The Chocolate Cake

This afternoon I asked the kids what God was saying for today. Meg said something to the effect of "God wants us to enjoy this beautiful day." Israel started to copy Meg, then he stopped short and said, "No, wait." [Pause for listening to God.] "God says that today is a day for mercy."


Wow! I used this word from God as a theme for tonight's cell group. I take what God tells my children seriously.


Today was also Luc's stuffed porcupine's birthday. Yes, believe it or not, I let my children celebrate the birthdays of random toys. It's an excuse to eat cake.


Earlier today we made a cake for Porcupine. I told the children we would eat it and sing to Porcupine after cell group. So, the chocolate dinosaur cake (which is what Porcupine asked for through his translator, Luc) was put away until all the cell members had gone.

The cake the kids made. It's a volcano.


After cell group I went into the boys room to assess the damage. (The many children who attend cell group come and go from the meeting to the room, playing. They all make a mess, which I don't mind. They are kids, after all!) I was shocked not just to see toys everywhere (which is normal) but to see clothes from the closet all over the floor. This was particularly upsetting because I had spent at least an hour yesterday organizing the boys' closet and sorting their clothes. All my hard work was undone. Plus, I had clearly told the children not to play in the closet.


I heard myself say, "That's it! Put your pajamas on and go to bed! No cake! You don't deserve it! This is just plain ol' disobedience! I might just throw the cake away!"

(Yes, I really said that.)


Even while saying that the Lord was whispering, "Mercy triumphs over judgement."

I stormed out of the room. I could hear Meg crying. They had so looked forward to that silly cake. They got in their pajamas and cleaned up right away. I was nursing the baby and sort of seething (all the while the Lord was saying, "Mercy. Mercy. Mercy."). Luc came to me and said, "Mommy, please don't throw Porcupine's cake away."

I called the children to me. I said, "Do you deserve the cake?" They all said no with tears in their eyes. I said, "What is mercy?" Below is Israel's answer.

Yes, we had cake. And we sang and gave presents to a stuffed porcupine.





Yes, Israel, everyone needs mercy--even Mommy.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Some thoughts on poverty and riches

2 Corinthians 8:9, For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though
he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty
might be rich.



I've been meaning to comment in response to some comments left on this post.

After watching Bono's passionate plea for us to remember the poor, a commenter said:

"I can't help thinking that if they just scaled back these awards shows, they could use the difference to help some of those folks he's talking about. And it bugs me when celebrities get up and ask all of us for our hard-earned dough (which I am happy to donate if I can, fyi) while they live ridiculously extravagant lifestyles. How much good could they do if they used their riches for "their" causes? I'm not saying none of them do, but you just don't hear about a celebrity who lives a simple lifestyle while giving millions to charity. You just don't hear it. Bugs me."

Another said:

"ya, looking at everyone stand up and applaud made me think, "which of these people, wearing clothes worth thousands of dollars, just like the idea and which are actually helping?"

I think this is a common response when one feels passionately about social justice. However, the answer to the world's ills is not for all the rich people to cease being rich. Being successful and enjoying one's success is not in opposition to living a life that blesses the world and aids the poor.

How effective for his cause would Bono be if he eschewed celebrity and only played in tiny clubs in the midwest? I have a feeling the world would not have rushed out to buy (RED) Gap clothes to support his work with AIDS victims!

Rich Mullins once said in an interview: Before I got into this music business, I was determined to live a life of dire and grinding poverty. I remember my uncle saying, "Wow, you are so proud of being poor--what's so great? You would do a lot better to be a little more industrious, a little more frugal. If you're really concerned about the poor, becoming poor isn't going to help them, it's just going to ease your own conscience. If you're really concerned about the poor, go out and make a fortune and spend it on them."

Before we turn poverty into a virtue all on it's own, we need to deal with a couple things.

Psalm 35:27, Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the LORD be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant."

Psalm 1:3, "And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper."

3 John 1:2, "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."

When I see a wealthy person I do not feel badly that they are wealthy and I am not (yet). I do not feel, "Well, if they wouldn't buy their clothes at Macy's and would shop at the thrift shop as I do, they could share more with the poor." That attitude is the attitude that the disciple had when Mary broke the alabaster box at Jesus' feet. "Well, she should have given that money to the poor!" Why? Because it would have eased the conscience of the treasurer a little to have someone make a sacrifice that he wasn't willing to make?

When I see a prosperous Christian, I rejoice! I'm glad they can afford a BMW! I'm happy that they get to eat out at a trendy bistro after church! I'm glad they can go to a nice hairdresser and look so sharp! Good for them! If I keep being faithful and industrious and keep and open heart and hand before God, I pray that God blesses me to the same extent! When He does, I promise to keep giving to the poor and to work for justice on their behalf. But, don't expect me to be suddenly showy about it. If you don't see me doing it, don't assume it's not being done. Maybe I'm just not letting my right hand know what my left hand is doing. (Matthew 6:3)

There is nothing unholy about enjoying one's blessings. There is nothing necessarily evil about being rich, just as there is nothing necessarily virtuous about being poor!

Ecc. 2:4, There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Be Seen. Be Heard. Be Hungry

(Turn on the music by clicking the sound icon in the lower left-hand corner of the slide.)





I teach a missions class to a group of homeschooled young people. When we began the class I presented them with about 10 different ideas for putting feet to our faith and making a difference in the world, because I believe that the Great Commission was given to every believer regardless of age, education or culture.

As a class they chose to do a 30-Hour Famine for World Vision, making a personal sacrifice and raising money to end world hunger.

Did you know that 29,000 children die every. single. day. from preventable causes? It boggles the mind.

How can we change the world?

It is such a huge problem.

The world is too big.

I'm only one person.

I'm not wealthy.

I can't go.

It overwhelms me.

How can we really do anything to change things?

We've decided that perhaps we can't save all 29,000 children today. But, with your help we can make a difference in the life of a child. And changing the life of a child changes the world.


Here's how the famine works: Each young person has set a personal fundraising goal and as a group we have set a fundraising goal. We are looking for people who are willing to forgo a latte, a movie, a new pair of shoes, a new video game, a Big Mac, a round of golf, [insert what you spend your pocket change on] to support our famine. On February 29 we will gather together and fast for 30 hours. (That by itself is a sacrifice and act of faith for most American teenagers!) While we fast we will be serving the homeless at a local soup kitchen and gathering supplies for Casa Hogar in Mexico, all the while aiming to raise money for World Vision and the needy children of the world beyond our own borders.

We know that 29,000 children die each day from preventable causes (lack of basic food, clean water and medical care), but tomorrow's number is up to you and me.

Please consider financially sponsoring our famine. Together we can change the world, one child at a time!

Email me for more information or to send a donation: mrsgombojav@yahoo.com All donations are tax-deductible.

(By the way, the children in the video above are my mission class kids who will be fasting for 30 hours. My own children are in there, too.)

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Being Pro-Life

This holiday weekend the kids and I (Daja) drove up to the Central Coast to visit Papa and Nana. That's a long trip for one adult and five little children! I told the kids to go potty before we left home because I was NOT going to stop. Well.......about an hour into the trip that big cup o' joe that I drank started to get to me. I tried to wait. But, round about Lost Hills (which is a little over 1 hour from our destination) I could not hold it another minute. So, we pulled into the Pilot and I took all five children into the handicap stall. When we all came out of the stall there were two women who looked at me aghast and I heard them mumbling-grumbling about all my kids. Clearly not in the mood for the rude vibe, I said, "Yes, just look at us! We're like clowns at the circus coming out of a little car." That took care of that. They put their eyes back in their head.



We don't live in a very child friendly world.



But, on to the main point of this post. When I make this trip I listen to Catholic Radio most of the way. Sure, I could listen to something "Positive and Encouraging" but it puts me to sleep! My favorite LA talk station goes out around Bakersfield. But, the Catholic station takes me all the way. It's thought-provoking, prayful and interesting. (I respect the Catholic Church. I am not Catholic, though.)



Anyway, I listened to the praying of the Pro-Life Rosary. There were a couple lines that really stood out to me: "Lord, I offer these three Hail Mary's for an increase in Faith, Hope, and Love in all people so that all people will always CHOOSE LIFE, and I also offer them in reparation for the suffering you endure each time an unborn babe is killed, each time someone is euthanized, each time death overcome life in this world. Amen."



When the announcer said that they would be praying the Pro-Life Rosary, I immediately thought of abortion. I did not automatically think of the chronically ill, the elderly, and those with limited mental capacity who are euthanized.



I realized afresh that being pro-life is a lot more than being anti-abortion. Being PRO-LIFE means you stand for LIFE over death anytime there is a face-off between the two.



Perhaps a lot of people who call themselves pro-life may actually be anti-abortion.



What does it mean to stand for LIFE and to take the side of LIFE? What does it mean for life to overcome death in this world?



I think of issues of birth control and actively preventing life. I think of the death penalty and how I have accepted it without really examining it. I think of all those expecting couples having genetic testing so that they can end things if the baby isn't perfect. I think of babies in test tubes--humans without a womb to grow in. I also think of those forgotten people who we forget are real people with real feelings. It's so easy to dismiss the humanity of the unwashed person on the corner willing to work for food. It's easy to dismiss the depth of feeling felt by a tiny child watching his parents quarrell. We don't realize that the elderly person who just wants to ramble about the first car they owned in 1932 or the price of gas is craving for human contact. "Someone please acknowledge my humanity!!"



Another part of the Rosary: "Lord Jesus, I thank you for your incarnation in our human flesh. You were formed in the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Your humanity at the moment of your conception gives us, each and every one, humanity at the moment of our conception. Had Satan had His way, you too would have been torn from your mothers womb, never to be born, and never to fulfill your destiny in the particular manner in which you did fulfill it. "



My grandfather, Dale, whom we named Ihbeleg Dale after, has slipped further into an isolated world. He is blind in one eye and as he says he "can't see out of the other", is hard of hearing, doesn't get around well without his walker or wheel chair. Because he doesn't make proper conversation anymore, unless one wants to drift from hearing the name of the horse he rode as a child to what his first house looked like in the same sentence. And so it's easy to not make the attempt at conversation. But, I got to thinking....what would it be like to not have someone talk to you anymore? What would it be like to sit in the rocker all day, seeing the TV on, but not hearing it, not having a job or function, not able to get one's own coffee or drive yourself to the market. Worst of all, not being able to read the Bible anymore! How long the days must be. How lonely!



So, while visiting my grandparents this weekend, I took some time to pull up a chair right near my grandpa's ear and I read (or rather, shouted) the Bible to him. He smiled and thanked me, probably quite surprised. I kissed his rough cheek. I love him, even though I probably haven't taken the time to engage him and interact with him in a long time.



It was a pro-life weekend as I meditated on all this as well as these parts of the rosary: "I also offer each "white/clear" 'Hail Mary' for the mothers and fathers of these aborted little ones, that they may receive the grace ot repent of this sin, turn to Jesus, and receive the gift of salvation with open hearts. Heal them of the emotional and psychological wounds that this sin has caused as you pour out the graces of conversion upon them. Let them now witness for life! Amen"



How often do I pray for the babies and how little I pray for the healing of the mothers and fathers! If I am pro-life, where is my acknowledgement of their humanity?



"The black beads are symbolic for the entire medical profession that participates in pro-death activities. All doctors, nurses, and assistants, helpers of every type that contribute to abortion, euthanasia, anti-life practices of every sort. Every "Clear/white" 'Hail Mary' is for their conversion, repentance, and courage in standing against this crimson tide of death! Pray: Lord Jesus; Mother Mary, in this decade I offer reparation for all the sins of the medical personnel that act in the interest of death in our society and in our world. I plead also for their conversion to your truth. Let them see the truth of what they are doing, see the horror of it, rend their hearts in repentance, then work for Life and for you Jesus, all the rest of their days. Amen."



And what about these? These are real people, too. They aren't other-worldly monsters. They are souls for whom Christ died! They need our prayers, too. If I am pro-life, I must admit that Jesus loves the abortionist, too.



It's humbling to take oneself off that pedestal of the mind and realize that God loves me and God loves the abortionist.



Christ came to save sinners. That's the Good News. And that is the best pro-life statement there is.



"O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?" I Corinthians 15:55

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Testimony Time!

God has indeed planted us in a good place.

I’ve been meaning to testify about a few things that have happened lately, but haven’t found the time. This is a lazy Saturday morning. I have a cup of coffee and the kids are watching VeggieTales. So, here it goes…

On Father’s Day evening,
Pastor Che taught about how to pray for the sick. After the teaching he had people pray for one another. We had Luc prayed for for allergies. For those that don’t know, Luc as has had terrible allergies to nightshade vegetables. That’s potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, and eggplant. That means Mexican food, Italian food, most soups, most casseroles, French fries, most salad dressings, and a host of other foods were off limits. Even a trace of it, such as the potato starch in some canned broths, would cause him to break out with an itchy rash all over.

Our family and another guy who was sitting in front of us gathered around Luc and prayed for healing. Luc was excited! He said Jesus had healed him.

When we got home that night for a late supper Luc said, “Mom, I want tomato soup!” He ate it up. We waited. And sure enough he broke out with the rash. Gana and I talked privately. What to do? Luc kept saying Jesus had healed him. He was in the kitchen licking a tomato slice and then lifting up his shirt to show us there was no rash. But, there was. Should Gana and I tell him that he was not healed? That Jesus didn’t do it? That he couldn’t eat French fries? Oy!

We decided instead to contend for his healing. We had been admonished a few weeks before by a preacher to never discourage someone’s faith in the cross. If someone was believing for something, don’t steal it way by telling them there wasn’t really power in it.

So, we prayed that Luc’s healing would be manifested and that his faith in the power of the cross would not be shaken.

About a week or two passed and Luc kept insisting to eat all the off limit foods. Then one day we noticed that he had no rash. There was not even a bit of redness. He was not scratching himself, even in his sleep, as he would have done before. He was totally and completely healed!


Seeing the faith of my little son, who was willing to believe the promise of healing in spite of not seeing it immediately manifested, challenged me. I have been struggling with breast infections since Meg was a baby. And they’ve been getting worse. Between Meg and Israel’s births I had two serious infections. Since Ihbeleg’s birth I have had seven! These aren’t just minor inconveniences. I get a high fever, chills, body aches, excruciating pain in the breast, and a headache. It puts me in bed for several days. For a mother of five children I cannot afford to be in bed for days every couple weeks!

I remember I was washing dishes and was praying, “Lord, I need to be free from this.” I was washing a cup and was meditating on how the inside of the cup had to be as clean as the outside. Whatever the root of these reoccurring infections was, it needed to be healed.

I felt the Lord say very specifically, “I am going to heal you. And you will know when it happens.”

“Yes Lord!”

I started going to every Sunday evening service at
our church. Sunday evenings are renewal services where there is lots of personal ministry time. I went. The messages were good, the worship was great. But, I was not yet healed. I came home a little disappointed each Sunday night. But, I kept waiting for the manifestation of what the Lord had promised me.

Then on July 22nd, I went to the Sunday evening service. The speakers spoke a really good word about wanting the Lord Himself, even more than you want your destiny. That intimacy with God was more important than even His promises.

I went forward for prayer and God started dealing with me about some personal things that I’ve held onto that He was asking me to let go of, promises and prophecies that I’ve wanted more than I actually want the Lord Himself. I felt like I was having surgery. I was at the altar weeping before the Lord and God was comforting me and ministering to me. Then someone came to pray for me and said, “The Lord is restoring your body for everything it gives out.” Boom! The promise the Lord had given me while washing the cup came back to my mind. I was at the altar for a good hour while the Lord worked on me. I was in His presence and He was beautiful.

I have not had another infection since! In that moment the Lord dealt with the root of that problem and delivered me.

Through my little son, God taught me about believing Him even when the circumstances don’t look very promising. And through the sermon that night of the healing I learned that it is more important to hold on to the Lord and pursue Him even more than His promises to me.


Daja and Captain


Revelation 12:11,

“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb,

and by the word of their testimony;

and they loved not their lives unto the death.”

Saturday, July 07, 2007

God Is Our Protector!

On the fourth of July we had a nice relaxing day at home. Gana grilled ribs and corn on the cob. Add to that the watermelon, glass bottle sodas and a flag cake and it was a delightful little feast with my our immediate family.

In the evening we decided to see the fireworks at the Rose Bowl. But, we didn't want to pay to get in and fight the crowds. We heard from some locals that we could see it from the nearby Vons parking lot. Great! We walked to Vons, which is a fair distance. We sat outside the corner Starbucks, sipping mochas and waiting for the show. Several other families were doing the same thing.

Turns out you can't see the fireworks afterall, because of new HD fireworks that explode lower. Bummer.

So, we decided to walk closer to the Rose Bowl. We walked to the main street and decided to take a side street that would lead us very near the Rose Bowl. But, in a very last minute Gana and I both said, "Nah, let's just stand here." So, we stood on the side walk and watched the fireworks. They were very far away and it wasn't a great way to see them. For some reason though, we just decided not to get any closer.

While standing there we noticed lots of helicopters flying overhead. News copters? Cops looking for illegal fireworks? We just guessed. We decided to walk home before the show was over. We heard lots of sirens on the way home.

When we got home we turned on the news to hear this story. We were three blocks away. Had we decided to get closer we would have taken a street leading directly into that neighborhood and very likely would have been in the thick of it. Click on the link below. The star is where the shooting was. We were on Orange Grove, between Manzanita and Sunset.

Map of 800 Brooks Ave Pasadena, CA 91103-2917, US

God certainly had His hand on us. Makes me wonder how many countless things we have been spared. We don't know and so we've never thanked Him. Still He's there. Ever watching, protecting, guiding, leading.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Ihbeleg's Dedication

I was going to blog about Ihbeleg's dedication. But, my mom beat me to it and did a great job! So, read about it on her blog, Daffodil Dreams.



And here's a few extra pictures:





"We are the Gombojav Tribe. And we are dedicating Ihbeleg Dale Gombojav."

Being prayed for by the pastors.

The fabulous reception!

Reading a letter from Ihbeleg's godmother, Carey, who couldn't be at the dedication.