Mary Beth and Me

In three days my dearest friend, Mary Beth, is getting married. Then she is moving to Canada.

Mary Beth and Rob

The reality of the big changes in her life, and therefore my life, is starting to sink in. And this has put me in the mood to meditate on what our friendship means to me. See, we have been friends since we met at a homeschool group when I was just shy of 13 years old. We bonded through our involvement with Teen Missions, 4-H, and homeschool groups. We both raised goats. We had many tea parties together in the early days, which somehow gave way to ice cream binges.


A few days before I got married Gana and I had a quarrel and I freaked out. To whom did I run? Mary Beth was there to buy me a bowl of ice cream and walk around the lake with me. She stood with me at my wedding and has stood for my marriage ever since. She was there when my first child was born. She is the godmother to my second child.


When she comes over I don't frantically try to pick up the house before she gets here. If I don't talk to her for a week I miss her, but am never offended that she hasn't called me. We can disagree with one another and it doesn't phase the friendship in the least. She forgives me for being over-zealous about my soapbox issues and she challenges me to stand up for what I believe by asking me tough questions. I can be myself with her and never shock her.


Through my friendship with Mary Beth I have strengthened my relationship with Jesus, because our friendship has shown me something of His character.


"Tenderness is what happens to you when you know you are deeply and sincerely liked by someone. If you communicate to me that you like me, not just love me as a brother in Christ, you open up to me the possibility of self-respect, self-esteem, and wholesome self-love. Your acceptance of me banishes my fears. My defense mechanisms--sarcasm, aloofness, name-dropping, self-righteousness, giving the appearance of having it all together--start to fall. I drop my mask and stop disguising my voice. You instill self-confidence in me and allow me to smile at my weaknesses and absurdities. The look in your eyes gives me permission to make the journey into the interior of myself and make peace with that part of myself, where I could never find peace before. I become more open, sincere, vunerable, and affectionate. I too grow tender." (Brennan Manning)


There's nothing like a childhood friendship that has grown into a deep and abiding sense of belonging.


I could not be happier for you, Mary Beth. Your joy is my joy. Even though you will be far away, you will never be far from my thoughts. There will always be two teacups on my table.

Me and Mary Beth when we were about 15 years old.