Beauty and Beautiful

There's no such thing as an ordinary woman.

I want to be beautiful

And make you stand in awe

Look inside my heart

And be amazed

I want to hear you say

Who I am is quite enough

I just want to be worthy of love

And beautiful.

~Bethany Dillon, "Beautiful"

When women are still little girls they dress in frills and know they are ballerinas.  They wear jewelry and know they are princesses.  They have no doubt that they are lovely and are confident that others will delight in them as much as they delight in themselves.

Little girls can wear lace and mud at the same time and not doubt that they are personified perfection.

Little girls smell like lavendar and coconut and peanut butter and are good enough to eat.  I have to refrain from licking Saraa sometimes.

As soon as a little girl can hold a brush she delights to comb her hair and to hear her daddy say, "Oooooo, so pretty."

When someone tells Saraa, "You're so beautiful!" she never says, "Nah, I'm not."

Little girls are free with their giggles and their tears, never stifling either.

Somewhere between toddlerhood and womanhood, women forget how lovely and loveable they are, describing themselves as frumpy and not fabulous, exchanging predictable for precious. They think they are.....ordinary. 

But that little girl, who would be shocked to learn that the sun doesn't rise and set in her smile, is still there, inside. She's longing to look in the mirror approvingly, but somehow the reflection no longer looks like her--at least to her own eyes. There is a stranger there, instead.

The little girl's seemingly unshakeable faith in sparkle got lost. She allowed the world's message of what is beautiful to rewrite her internal dictionary. She doesn't look like a cover girl, a supermodel, or even the woman next door. Therefore, she must be flawed.  Yes, that is what the world's dictionary says. 

Hating to see those flaws, she hides behind clothes--a few sizes too big or a few sizes too small. She hides behind an extra coating of make-up or behind none-at-all. Yes, no mask, can be a mask. Thinking she must compensate for her lagging will or enthusiasm she disqualifies herself with words like old, ugly, not-smart-enough, untalented, tired......ordinary.

Poor little girl.

She is all of us. She is every woman who had dreams to be fantastic someday.  She is every woman who wishes someone thought she was beautiful, she longs to hear those words. 

Somewhere deep inside all of us, we know that we are worthy--if only someone would look. Somewhere deep inside we know that we are beautiful--if we don't have to be in a side-by-side comparison with Wonder Woman.

Dare we remember what it feels like to be whimsical, sparkly, adorable and precious?

Can we let the old lady rest and let the little girl play?

Do we have the audacity to pair Cute with Mighty?  Beautiful with Bold?  Vulnerable with Fearless?

Can we tell the world to stick their dictionary you-know-where, because we'd perfer to use our own? Or better yet to use God's?

"Who is she who looks forth as the morning,

Fair as the moon, Clear as the sun,

Awesome as an army with banners?"

Song of Solomon 6:10

"...you have captivated my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace."

Song of Solomon 4:9

"Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous--and how well I know it."

Psalms 139:14

"So the King will greatly desire your beauty;

Because He is your Lord, worship Him."

Psalm 45:11

It's scary.  We all know it.  I don't know how your conversation goes, but mine goes like this: 

What if.

What if I re-discover that little girl and no one likes her?  Or worse no one understands her.

What if I decide to be myself and that means that I have to be myself all by myself?

They say the "I'm enough" or "God's enough."

How can I trust that that is true. 

Ordinary and with others.  Alone and unordinary.  Are those my two choices?

Then the time came when the risk it took

To remain tight in a bud was more painful

Thank the risk it took to blossom.

--Anais Nin

If I could look you in the eye, sister, and not just at this computer screen, I would tell you without flinching, that you are beautiful.  You are worth knowing.  You are marvelously created by God's own hands.  He delights in you.  If you dare to believe it the truth will set you free.  Free to have that unshakeable belief you once had as a little girl.